New Beginnings

It’s been awhile since I’ve done anything that I used to do and love to do all the time. I actually feel guilty about it. Writing, blogging, taking pictures, etc. I’ve tried to stay on track with reading, drawing and watching movies, but it’s kind of hard when I spend all my time and energy working. One thing I never fully understood was the meaning of fast food. The definition has alerted my body so that when I come home, I go straight to bed for either a nap, or the night. I sleep for hours. Gone is my insomnia. Gone is my lazy life. I just try to keep up with it all. My coworkers make going to work fun though. They’re all hilarious and and make great company. Of course, it’s a lot better when I don’t screw up but they make me feel better and that’s awesome. Just observing, it’s like watching a really good sitcom.
I’m sort of enjoying my favorite season, but I never imagined something as extreme as ice on the car. That’s okay though, I like to wrap up and just relax. I’m dreading summer, but I doubt the humidity here will ever be as bad as back home. Speaking of home, God I’m so homesick. My mom and I will hopefully move back to our hometown in 2015. I just wish moving was easier. The physical aspect of moving I absolutely loathe. It doesn’t help that we need at least a four bedroom this time. No way can we shove all these pets and crap into a two bedroom. No way.

As a loyal Johnny Depp fan, I feel the need to complete my movie collection. I finally got around to ordering The Rum Diary and The Brave. At first, I’d gone looking for The Rum Diary in local stores completely shocked to find that they didn’t have a single DVD. Wtf? How in the hell is that even possible? But that’s what happens when you move from a huge city of almost five million people to a small town of a little over thirty-three thousand.
The Brave was very frustrating trying to find. I knew that Johnny Depp didn’t release his movie in this region, but I didn’t think it would be do difficult to find it on the world wide web. After finding it and paying more than I wanted to for it, I had to deal with making sure it was for all regions, because it’s not like I’ve got an all regions or region 2 player lying around anywhere. I don’t understand. You’d think he would be proud of his directorial debut, but nooooo, he won’t ever release it in the United States. If I hopefully ever meet him, boy will I have some questions for him.

If you’re still with me and haven’t been bored to death, here’s an update on the books I’m reading:
I’m mainly finishing Sword of the Rightful King by Jane Yolen that I started a couple years ago and pretty much forgot about (I actually love it), and I’m planning on reading these that are on my nightstand next:
Mental by Eddie Sarfaty
Between Mom and Jo by Julie Anne Peters (I also started reading this some years ago)
Brave New World by Aldous Huxley

Now, if this damn Flixster app decides to work, I’ll watch Demolition Man before bed. I just don’t get it; technology is supposed to work. We are so not ready for robots.

Life belongs to the living, and he who lives must be prepared for changes.”
Johann Wolfgang von Goetge

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I Could Be An Expert’s Assistant On Life

It has certainly been an interesting number of days. Where do I begin?
Tonight was probably the most eventful out of everything. My mom and I got home after 1:30 in the morning (kind of a long, personal story – I’ll get to that later) from McDonald’s. First of all, since when do they stop accepting credit after certain hours? That’s about as stupid and inconvenient as them not serving certain breakfast foods after 10:30am or whatever. And who carries cash anymore these days? My mom certainly doesn’t; I’d like to, but it just doesn’t work out (ahem, broke, college student here). So we have to drive around to my bank and withdraw cash from an ATM (whoever invented ATMs was a genius) and then drive back to a McDonalds where I finally reunite with their annual special…drumline please….THE MCRIB!!!! I swear I sang ”You Are So Beautiful” to it all the way home as I savored every bite. My mom decided to wait till we got home to have her meal (it was like, 30°F, aka fucking cold). When she pulled out her double cheeseburger, I burst out laughing. I literally rolled on the floor, laughing my ass off to the point of tears. I had forgotten how small McDonald’s burgers where. I took a picture of my mom holding it, flat in her palm (it was half the size of her hand), and rolled over and laughed my ass off some more. I needed that.
So that was my awesome food experience nostalgia I deserved. Better late than never.

For the past three days I’ve been in a serious creative and productive mood. My room and closet (mostly my closet – I tried to pick up a little in my room) look like someone was looking for something (ransacked), couldn’t find what they were looking for, then threw a tantrum because they couldn’t find it. But that’s actually not the case; no, what happened was, I had an idea and was looking for something to carry out that idea, but found something else that inspired a new idea, and so on. It’s a mess but if I close my eyes, it’s not so bad.
Speaking of closing my eyes, maybe I need to dust my dream catcher off or something (?) because some bad dreams have been slipping through. Why am I always being chased? Sure, there was a lot of chasing going on with me as a kid, but I was a wild child.. And don’t ask me what my dreams were about because I don’t remember. All I remember is that I was being chased. It’s weird though, in my dreams I never run out of energy (I say this because it’s the total opposite in reality).
I’ve actually written a lot this year, but lately my creativity has been specific: drawing. Yesterday (or the day before, I think) I sketched about four pictures [insert Facebook link]. I was frustrated though because it wasn’t going exactly how I wanted it to. I almost gave up, but my mom gave some inspiring advice so that I was back on track.
I’ve been [i]obsessing [/i] over Pinterest [add link] lately (they’ve got a lot of cool ideas), and I decided to try something [add link to post] using what I had (again, broke college student) which included an ugly, yellow, legal pad and an old Converse shoe box (I refuse to throw shoe boxes away – for occasions like these, I know they’ll come in handy later). I’m still working on it, but I’m handwriting inspirational writing quotes on the legal pad and tearing the parts used into little scraps, then folding them in half and scattering them inside the shoebox. The idea is to randomly pick a quote when I’m feeling down about my writing. So far so good.
My mother is currently ”thinking herself to death”. Interesting, but not surprising, for her.

I’ll be home for Christmas, if only in my dreams.

Overflowing Movies, Unidentifiable Bugs, And More Life Frustrations

I have this long list of movies to see and it only gets longer no matter how many movies I try to catch up on. My main priorities (movies) are:

  • The Avengers
  • Men in Black 3
  • The Winning Season (can’t find it anywhere to rent)
  • The Boys Are Back (can’t find it anywhere to rent)
  • Dr. T and the Women (can’t find it anywhere to rent)
  • Drowning Mona (can’t find it anywhere to rent)
  • Goodfellas
  • Brave
  • Anchorman (trying to find it before the second comes out)
  • Pulp Fiction
  • Smokey and the Bandit 2 (can’t find it)
  • The Brave (can’t find it in the whole U.S.)
  • Alien
  • Loosies
  • Ghost (I can’t bear to watch sad movies, but this is a must according to my mom)
  • Mirror Mirror
  • Snow White and the Huntsman

I usually just wait to rent from Redbox, but I’m rather impatient for some movies. Also, it’s not like I have an unlimited supply of money to go to the theaters every movie or so. Speaking of which, I’m looking forward to these this year:

  • The Amazing Spider-Man (tomorrow – July 3rd)
  • The Watch (July 27th)
  • Total Recall (August 3rd)
  • Hope Springs (August 10th)
  • Premium Rush (August 24th)
  • Lawless (August 31st)
  • The Good Doctor (August 31st – I might wait for this to come to DVD)
  • Taken 2 (October 5th)
  • The Wedding (October 19th)
  • Robot & Frank (October 25th)
  • Thor 2 (November 8th)
  • The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey (December 14th)

There are a few others, but the above list are the ones I’m really excited about seeing.
I think I watched like three movies yesterday. I hadn’t planned on the third one, but while I was updating my movie lists (apparently that’s all I ever do – update lists) and browsing IMDb, I came across something so awesome my heart skipped a beat; I watched a full length movie, S.W.A.T., for free on this website I discovered also: Crackle. So I stayed up and enjoyed my luck.

Lately I’ve been having extreme cellphone frustrations and problems. I have been through THREE of these (two within the last 30 days). I think I want this one but tomorrow I’m getting this as a replacement. I hate the Windows platform; I have had nothing but problems with them in the past. Nobody even trusts them anymore! You hardly ever see a popular website offering an app available on Windows. I went through a list (ha!) of my favorite apps and came up short with a few when comparing Android and Windows. GoodReads does not have an app for Windows; that really sucks. But I got a few of my other favorites. Ugh, I am so sick of resetting phones! But there’s not much of anything I can do about it. It just is what it is unfortunately. Damn.

I’m going back and forth with college decisions, so nothing is permanent. No problem. I’m used to it, and I’m not particularly looking forward to heading back to college online or not. But I have to do something, and no one will hire me. I blame the government. Why must things have to be so complicated? Yeah yeah, I love my country, and things could be worse, but we have some serious problems that aren’t going anywhere because it takes so long to make a final decision!

Meanwhile I’m looking around the house for the important documents I need to switch my driver’s license (I still have a Texas license, living in Tennessee). I’m trying to get it all done before the voting starts. I’ve given myself a deadline of one month or so before November 6th to get everything in (30 days to deal with the voter’s registration crap). I don’t mean to get into politics, but I have a strong feeling that our votes don’t matter. Things are so not what they should be. But I want to vote this year. It’s especially important considering this will be my first time. It takes so much just to prove existence..it’s really annoying.

We have a major spider problem. There are wasps too, but oddly enough they’re friendly. I sprayed wasp spray the other day because they were swarming around the front door. I stood in the doorway while spraying all around where I could reach; I sprayed the doorway above my head like a dumbass. I rinsed my head and arms unsure of how toxic it is to humans (who reads the warning labels?). I ended up using the whole can; if you ask me, they don’t put enough in there in the first place. What a rip off. Same with cereal and chips and soda bottles, etc. Is it too much to ask to get my money’s worth?
Anyway, the spider problem: now that I think about it, it’s quite funny. First off, my advice is to get bug spray for the specific pest you are trying to rid of. Don’t get the combination. So, the other night I was sitting in my beanbag chair about to watch a movie on my portable DVD player, when I saw a huge spider out of the corner of my eye. So far, I have not been able to identify a single creature here in Tennessee. All that I’m sure of are these spiders, but don’t ask me the species, I have no earthly idea and I don’t feel like looking through millions of photos in catalogs online. Been there done that. Very exhausting and very creepy.
I jumped out of the chair immediately, tossing my DVD player on the floor, trying to get far away from the spider. It was slightly smaller than my hand, but the biggest spider I’ve seen so far (besides tarantulas). I grabbed the can of bug spray that supposedly kills ants, roaches and spiders. The first clue should have been obvious: it had a picture of illustrating a roach being killed. So I sprayed the spider as it tried to make its escape (sometimes I feel guilty about this) with the stuff and it just kept crawling fast away. I just about emptied the whole can on the thing and it still kept going! My mom came in with wasp spray (specifically for wasps) and sprayed a little directly on the spider. Guess what? Yeah, it died instantly. That was a major WTF? moment. It was also a terrifying experience for me. As if I don’t have enough phobias as it is with insects! My worst fear is losing sight of the insect I’m trying to kill.

My pets are all still crazy, my cat is still greedy and weighs 10.6 pounds (!). She’s not liking her new diet so she occasionally vomits un-chewed kernels from eating so fast. My dog won’t stop acting like a cat, and my other cat is more rebellious than a teenager. Oh, and the bird is still screaming his head off unless symphony-like music is playing. These pets are work. Sometimes, it really does feel like a zoo.

I’ve been doing other things so I’m still reading On the Road – by Jack Kerouac. It’s…ongoing with pointless adventures or rather, living life to the extreme fullest. It’s good.

“I had nothing to offer anybody except my own confusion.” – Pg. 104 of On the Road by Jack Kerouac.

A Little Bit of Everything Fun

I’ve been having a few technicalities lately. Once with my mobile phone, once with email, and once more specifically with Posterous.

I’m not going to get into the BlackBerry discussion again, but I will say there is a lot of discrimination against BlackBerry phones. There’s hardly an app for anything available to BlackBerry phones.

Occasionally I switch between BlackBerry and Android. I’ll get so used to the Android apps that by the time I switch back to my BlackBerry I have several wtf? moments. It’s a hard readjustment.

The latest technicality is with Posterous. Right now, my BlackBerry is giving me issues with sending and receiving emails, so it makes things extremely difficult when I’m away from my laptop and want to blog from my phone and publish it at the same time. Posterous mainly works through email, but they also have apps for the iPhone and Android. Of course. I had a brief mix up a few days ago when I realized I had changed my email with Posterous from Yahoo! to Windows Live. After I figured out my stupidity, I tried through the correct email. It worked, but if I want to attach anything (file, photo, etc.), I can’t. At least not online from my BlackBerry. You see how this can really piss off a person?

Once again, Texas weather has been confusing everyone. I feel sorry for the meteorologists.
Yesterday, we were teased by the possible chance of rain. Today it rained like hardly ever before. All day. That’s a really good thing for Texas locals. But I didn’t understand what the DJ was talking about yesterday when she said we were “hoping it will stay in the eighties”. She must be crazy. What person in their right mind wishes for 80°F weather? Especially here! Yes we have been roasting in 90°F+ weather for the longest, but 80°F is hardly any better!

I’m still working on my endless book lists. I’m currently reading I Never Loved Your Mind by Paul Zindel, my favorite author who unfortunately died back in 2003.
My mom and I shopped a bit at Walmart yesterday. We stayed on the book aisle for a long time, and finally walked out with like five or six books. One of which, was the Guinness World Records 2012 book I had totally forgotten about. I’m usually on top of stuff like that. How did it just slip right by without me noticing? Ah well; I must have been in my own little world again. It came with a good price too, about $13 when it’s worth $30. Awesome.

I have a longer-than-usual list of movies I keep meaning to rent from RedBox:

  • X-Men: First Class
  • Living Will (released October 11th)
  • Zoo Keeper (released October 11th)
  • Everyday (released October 18th)
  • Captain America: The First Avenger (released October 25th)
  • HottieBoombaLottie (released October 25th)
  • The River Murders
  • Hannah
  • Submarine
  • Henry’s Crime
  • Transformers: Dark of the Moon
  • Brothers
  • Rio

I’m kind of sick of X-Men by now. Why can’t they just end it and move on? Maybe the same reason Disney keeps re-releasing their classics in “better high definition quality..remastered..platinum edition..blah blah blah”; they’re out of ideas.
I didn’t know Bam Margera was in another movie. I didn’t know Ryan Dunn co-starred in it with him. Wow, what a blow. After everything that has happened and all, I can’t imagine what Bam must be going through. Probably depression followed by anger; an occasional drink and “fuck off! leave me alone” when anyone tries to bother him. I wish him peace.
I’m not so sure about Zoo Keeper. It actually looked pretty stupid and cliché, but it’s most likely right up my alley as my mother would say. I love comedies; the dumber, the better.
I was never really into Captain America but I’ve come this far with all the Marvel movies, so why not?
As for The River Murders, my mom is more thrilled than I am to see it. That’s right up her alley.
Hannah just seemed interesting in a way. I sort of hate thrillers and suspense movies because I jump at every damn thing, but I don’t mind wasting time on movies. I actually enjoy it.
I’m a fan of Keanu Reeves, and Henry’s Crime seemed a little interesting after the third time I watched the trailer.
I had actually been following the Transformers movies, but replacing Megan Fox was a little disturbing, even if she deserved it. It’s kind of like Charlie Sheen in Two and a Half Men; he’s perfect for the part, just unpleasant on set. Actually, he portrays his character so well because there’s hardly a difference between the two. You know what I mean. Ashton Kutcher is doing a good job though.
I’m unsure about Rio. It really didn’t seem worth watching, but there are a few funny parts I noticed. I’ll give it a shot. Besides, what do I have to lose? $1?

“Getting lost is just another way of saying ‘going exploring’.”
Justina Chen Headley (from the novel, North of Beautiful)

Too Boring For A Title

I am terrible at multitasking, but I’m trying my best at the moment. I know I’ll forget something.

August 6th came and went, but still no word from the local library. They have been behind on notifying by email, but they should have thought about having to short staff before they spent all their money from gracious donations all on decorations. Ugh. The hours are inconvenient too.
Hardly anyone signs up for the summer reading programs, and from all the different categories I would of thought I’d get something. Lots and lots of gift cards to book stores and Amazon.com. But no email from them; not a word.
I’m in the middle of The Help by Kathryn Stockett; I hope to finish it before the tenth (when the movie comes out). I’ve already received an Entertainment Weekly magazine with a cover story about the book/movie.
I’m sort of getting sick of talking about books. But what else is there to talk about if all I ever do is read?

Our TV has quite a personality. First off, it can’t tell the difference between increasing and decreasing the volume, so it increases the volume the majority of the time. And it hates universal remotes.
My laptop has its issues too.
I have a few movies from my mom’s collection I haven’t gotten around to watching yet:

  • Only You (1994)
  • Mad House (1990)
  • Just My Luck (2006)
  • Walk the Line (2004)

I also have a long list of movies to rent later. I’m sticking with Redbox at the moment. There’s no way in hell I’m returning to Netflix.

I am so lazy, I have an overflowing basket of clothes to wash. I’m not too fond of those clothes, but I hate shopping for clothes so I haven’t done anything. Plus, with this damn heat wave, the only thing you can wear to prevent passing out is a bathing suit. Living in Texas doesn’t help matters.

Some Boring Things About Myself

I can describe anything and any person very well with no problems; but when it comes to describing myself, I give nothing but a blank stare. I consider myself difficult to describe, but I do try:
I am me.
I’m usually confused about various things, if not all; the world, the time of day, and myself mostly. Just about anything and everything on a daily basis.
I am dedicated to documenting my life for something beyond what I understand.
I don’t consider myself an artist; I just take interest in doodling in detail usually in boring situations.
I am fascinated by Johnny Depp and his work. I could go on and on about him, he’s such an amazing person from what I see. I would love to meet him one day.
My passion is books; from reading, to writing, to researching, to libraries. I find books fascinating. The most difficult thing for me in life is to pull myself away from book sales. It’s almost impossible.
I find verbal communication extremely difficult and unnerving. I can better describe it as social anxiety.
Weather and room temperature are important to me. I prefer cold weather, but unfortunately that is very rare in Texas.
I’m not fully interested in technology like my mother is. I’m against kindles, touch screen phones, artificial intelligence etc. I predict a future much like the Matrix series if modern technology continues to increase at this rate.
As far as my appearance goes, it really depends on my mood; but I’m not particularly fond of my curly hair which is sometimes wavy, but always curly. 
I’ve been told I have clear eyes, and small hands. 
I’m 5’4” which is inconvenient, and have the worst vision imaginable.
I love to sleep and rent movies as much as I love to read and admire Johnny Depp.


I decided to give in and watch Eat Pray Love to see what all the hype was about. I didn’t get to finish the last twenty minutes or so since my portable DVD player decided to die for good. Oh well; you get what you pay for. I wasn’t enjoying the movie. Maybe I’m just stupid and clueless, but I found it boring and a little confusing. I didn’t see the point.

I’ve finished two separate 500-piece puzzles within about two days for each puzzle recently. I enjoy puzzles, yet having patience on other things in life is difficult for me.
I’ve also been forcing myself to commit to crossword puzzles in hopes to improve my memory. So far so good. Only a slight headache for three days. I’m coming to enjoy crossword puzzles, if only I can just remember a damn thing every once in a while.
I still do an occasional sudoku puzzle every now and then. I’ve just about mastered those.

I attempted a doodle of Johnny Depp last night. It was supposed to look like this.
In comparison

Communication Issues

Yesterday was a miracle. It rained in Texas; and the temperature kept dropping from the usual 90-something degrees. I didn’t go out until later though. Last time I tried to capture the rare moment of rain on camera, I stepped on a piece of glass only two steps away from the front door. It looked worse than it actually felt.
I had the hardest time answering a poll on Facebook:
If someone wants to contact you, how do you prefer they do it?
  • Phone call
  • Text message
  • Email
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Yell
  • Clap
  • Poke

After a long while of puzzling, I realized the answer I wanted (I don’t want them to contact me) was not going to appear, so I chose email. I hate checking my email; I find it an overwhelming task.

Just about every type of sound bothers me. The worst way to contact me is by phone call. I hate phones; their too noisy, and I’m not much of a talker. I want to communicate with people, but I don’t want to communicate with people (this is just as confusing to me as it is to you).
I considered not answering the poll, but for some unknown reason, I really wanted to answer it.
On the subject of books, I’m currently reading A Visit from the Goon Squad by Jennifer Egan. I’m not reading it like mad as I do other books. It’s a little bit different; too much jumping around from one narrator, to another, to one period of time, to another period of time. It’s confusing, and tests my memory like hell, but I like the story, and I waited months on the library queue to get it, so I’ll finish it; hopefully before it’s due date (July 1st), because I have a strong feeling I can’t re-check it. Someone else is probably requesting it.
I’m also reading Wish I Could Be There: Notes from a Phobic Life by Allen Shawn. It’s a really good book. It’s not really a memoir, but it’s not really a self-help book either. The author just wants people to know they’re not alone when it comes to anxiety and phobias and such.
Yesterday, I Googled nail biting remedies. This is what I found. So, I’ll just be holding my Chucke’cheese block for a while. After ten years, at least the prize is getting some use.
Besides the damn cats interrupting my sleep every night, there’s not much else to talk about.
“Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.” – Chinese Proverbs