Where’s the Pause Button on Life?

Another year passed by so quickly. 2013 was surprisingly great for me. I became a better person and was mostly successful: I got out of the house and got a job, made friends (almost zapping my anxiety away completely), took two more online college courses and came to peace with my hair. Not bad.

I’m still loving my job – though it has its ups and downs (nothing is perfect). Overall it’s a joy to be there. I will have been a carhop for a year come the end of January which is super exciting. Right now I had to take some time off to travel with my mom to another one of her residencies in Kentucky. I’d heard of Chicago, but I never thought I would actually experience negative degree weather until a couple days ago when it reached -1 in Murray. The people here are even nicer than in Tennessee which prompts me to tip the pizza guy even bigger (I am now officially out of cash).

The pets are driving me crazy here. The cats and bird have been misbehaving like crazy. Cleopatra won’t stop hissing at her sister Jade and Symba won’t stop screaming his head off. Caity (the dog) has a new trick called selective hearing. It seems nobody can behave.

My plans for this new year are kind of up in the air. The only thing I can confirm right now is my attendance for Johnny Depp‘s upcoming movie Transcendence in theaters in April. I still dream about him, sadly, but he has given me a new (sort of) inspiration for writing material. I am enjoying my mediocre-professional new camera I got (exchanged previously by two other cameras) for Christmas courtesy of my wonderful mother: Nikon CoolPix P520. It takes great shots and it’s easily portable. I love it.

I’m still watching a ton of movies and reading constantly. The last movie I watched was an old James Bond film, Diamonds Are Forever (1971). The last book I read was “Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas” by the great Hunter S. Thompson (the second book I’ve read of his).
I’m still watching my favorite shows (in order of importance): Criminal Minds, Elementary, and New Girl. I have lately added to the list: The Michael J. Fox Show, Mom, and The Crazy Ones. I have yet to check out The Millers. I’ve been catching up on Undercover Boss (I like knowing about things) and I just recently learned of a new and interesting show: Intelligence. I wonder what my tastes say about me..

Apparently phones last even less than cars. My Samsung Galaxy S3 has lately turned into an annoying piece of shit. I’ve been struggling with it for the past few days because I recently up-sized the micro SD card and I guess it didn’t like that so it’s been acting up even more. Most times it doesn’t feel like sending messages – and when it does, they always take forever to send. I have given up on it. Maybe tomorrow I’ll have a a change of heart, though I doubt it. There’s no point wasting my time again with T-Mobile. They’ll just tell me all the things I already know including to try and set it back to factory – which is below my last resort.

Well, that’s all for now. My cat (Cleopatra) is whining about something and I guess I should go see what she wants.
You may delay, but time will not.” – Benjamin Franklin

‘Twas the Summer of 2013, and All Was Shaky

These are some of my newly acquired (and other) hobbies:

  • Collecting coins
  • Shopping on eBay
  • Hesitantly adding people I know on Facebook
  • Watching movies
  • Reading
  • Writing (a little)
  • Playing The Sims on my phone
  • Running from bees, wasps, and other scary things

I collect not only coins, but bills too (to my mother’s dismay). That’s mainly what I do on eBay: shop for dirt-cheap coins and bills. My job gives me the wonderful opportunity of stumbling upon old bills and coins through tips. Speaking of work, I love my job though it has its downs. My coworkers are a step down from the personality clashes I see on the show, L.A. Hair. It’s entertaining just to watch.
The best way to find out what I’ve seen lately, is by checking out my ratings history on IMDb (though a lot of times I go through and rate old movies I’ve seen and have forgotten to rate). I have Redbox release dates on all my calendars and frequently browse YouTube for any free, full-length movies worth watching.

I think my generation caught the social media thing towards the end after graduating. I feel kind of old now when it comes to social media. All these new things are popping out out of the blue like every week, and it’s just exhausting. Keeping up with Johnny Depp is already exhausting (he’s currently promoting his latest movie, The Lone Ranger, and filming Transcendence when he’s not doing that, and who knows what else – very busy man). So first I did YouTube (I think), then Twitter, THEN Facebook (back and forth), then Formspring or whatever, then Google+, then Pinterest, then Instagram, then…etc. You see what I mean? I mean I know I don’t have to sign up for all of it, but it all looks interesting. Besides, that’s all I use my smartphone for anyway – to connect to social media, and play addicting games (The Sims FreePlay, iMobsters, and more).

My room is once again a mess. The floor is covered with ripped-open packages everywhere (I’ve been ordering a lot of stuff online) and clothes that I’ve been hoping my cat won’t urinate on before I can get them up off the floor. My closet isn’t any better.

My boss is a funny one. He loves keeping busy (no matter how hectic things get, he always has a goofy grin on his face). Lately I’ve been spotting a ton of spiders here and there. So here I’m constantly thinking of Spider-Man and brown recluses and trying to remain calm enough to not look like a complete idiot in public. The other day while I was working, I saw a transparent spider slowly hang down from the ceiling, suspended by its web. Its movement reminded me of Charlotte’s Web. I backed up and pointed out this spider to my co-workers; we had our boss come and deal with it. You know how he dealt with it? He took his hand and caught the web from the top, then proceeded to swing it around a little (with a goofy grin and the satisfaction of scaring us girls) before he dropped it onto the floor and mushed it with his shoe. I was watching closely the whole time and wasn’t sure he got it after it dropped to the floor, so I was hesitantly searching the ground for this transparent spider, when my boss pointed to where I was standing and said “There it is!”. I jumped up almost onto the counter, freaked out. He went back to work laughing at his joke.

My mom is once again heavily into graduate school. She’s studying for her MFA in Creative Writing. Just one more year and possible two more residencies to go. I’ll be honest, I’m sick of driving/riding through the country. I want to be somewhere that is permanent and comfortable. In a year, after she graduates, we’re moving back to Texas but who knows.
I guess I’ve finally decided on what to study in college: Film. I don’t want to be a director or actor, I just want to study Film and go from there. Twenty-years-old and I just realized this. Well, it could be worse I guess.

The pets are still driving me crazy. Caity (our dog) is going though the only thing that keeps her quiet and preoccupied faster than toilet flushing.

There are these chicken-flavored, braided chew toys (big) that she spends all day eating. It used to take her about two weeks to finish one; now she’s going through one every three days or so. Of course they’re sold at only one place at 2/$5, but I’m not rich!
The cats are getting on my nerves with their problems, but none of them is worse than Symba (our bird). He was doing just fine for 15 years, and then we had to go on a road trip, so we dropped him off at my grandmother’s house and she SPOILS HIM ROTTEN!!!! She searched the web for classical music so he could have something to listen to, she gave him all of her time AND she picked out the seeds he didn’t like! He was over there for a week. As soon as we all got settled at home, he noticed the change and started screaming his little head off. So everyday we had him listening to Mozart. That worked for a couple of months, but then he got sick of that, so we switched to watching cartoons on TV. He likes certain cartoons. I recently went and bought a Dora the Explorer DVD (it was painful) and he watches that at least three times a day, but he still has many screaming moments. I get several headaches and my mom doesn’t get any work done. He’s a disturbed bird that does not like to be disturbed. It’s lovely.

The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time.” – Abraham Lincoln 

Overflowing Movies, Unidentifiable Bugs, And More Life Frustrations

I have this long list of movies to see and it only gets longer no matter how many movies I try to catch up on. My main priorities (movies) are:

  • The Avengers
  • Men in Black 3
  • The Winning Season (can’t find it anywhere to rent)
  • The Boys Are Back (can’t find it anywhere to rent)
  • Dr. T and the Women (can’t find it anywhere to rent)
  • Drowning Mona (can’t find it anywhere to rent)
  • Goodfellas
  • Brave
  • Anchorman (trying to find it before the second comes out)
  • Pulp Fiction
  • Smokey and the Bandit 2 (can’t find it)
  • The Brave (can’t find it in the whole U.S.)
  • Alien
  • Loosies
  • Ghost (I can’t bear to watch sad movies, but this is a must according to my mom)
  • Mirror Mirror
  • Snow White and the Huntsman

I usually just wait to rent from Redbox, but I’m rather impatient for some movies. Also, it’s not like I have an unlimited supply of money to go to the theaters every movie or so. Speaking of which, I’m looking forward to these this year:

  • The Amazing Spider-Man (tomorrow – July 3rd)
  • The Watch (July 27th)
  • Total Recall (August 3rd)
  • Hope Springs (August 10th)
  • Premium Rush (August 24th)
  • Lawless (August 31st)
  • The Good Doctor (August 31st – I might wait for this to come to DVD)
  • Taken 2 (October 5th)
  • The Wedding (October 19th)
  • Robot & Frank (October 25th)
  • Thor 2 (November 8th)
  • The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey (December 14th)

There are a few others, but the above list are the ones I’m really excited about seeing.
I think I watched like three movies yesterday. I hadn’t planned on the third one, but while I was updating my movie lists (apparently that’s all I ever do – update lists) and browsing IMDb, I came across something so awesome my heart skipped a beat; I watched a full length movie, S.W.A.T., for free on this website I discovered also: Crackle. So I stayed up and enjoyed my luck.

Lately I’ve been having extreme cellphone frustrations and problems. I have been through THREE of these (two within the last 30 days). I think I want this one but tomorrow I’m getting this as a replacement. I hate the Windows platform; I have had nothing but problems with them in the past. Nobody even trusts them anymore! You hardly ever see a popular website offering an app available on Windows. I went through a list (ha!) of my favorite apps and came up short with a few when comparing Android and Windows. GoodReads does not have an app for Windows; that really sucks. But I got a few of my other favorites. Ugh, I am so sick of resetting phones! But there’s not much of anything I can do about it. It just is what it is unfortunately. Damn.

I’m going back and forth with college decisions, so nothing is permanent. No problem. I’m used to it, and I’m not particularly looking forward to heading back to college online or not. But I have to do something, and no one will hire me. I blame the government. Why must things have to be so complicated? Yeah yeah, I love my country, and things could be worse, but we have some serious problems that aren’t going anywhere because it takes so long to make a final decision!

Meanwhile I’m looking around the house for the important documents I need to switch my driver’s license (I still have a Texas license, living in Tennessee). I’m trying to get it all done before the voting starts. I’ve given myself a deadline of one month or so before November 6th to get everything in (30 days to deal with the voter’s registration crap). I don’t mean to get into politics, but I have a strong feeling that our votes don’t matter. Things are so not what they should be. But I want to vote this year. It’s especially important considering this will be my first time. It takes so much just to prove existence..it’s really annoying.

We have a major spider problem. There are wasps too, but oddly enough they’re friendly. I sprayed wasp spray the other day because they were swarming around the front door. I stood in the doorway while spraying all around where I could reach; I sprayed the doorway above my head like a dumbass. I rinsed my head and arms unsure of how toxic it is to humans (who reads the warning labels?). I ended up using the whole can; if you ask me, they don’t put enough in there in the first place. What a rip off. Same with cereal and chips and soda bottles, etc. Is it too much to ask to get my money’s worth?
Anyway, the spider problem: now that I think about it, it’s quite funny. First off, my advice is to get bug spray for the specific pest you are trying to rid of. Don’t get the combination. So, the other night I was sitting in my beanbag chair about to watch a movie on my portable DVD player, when I saw a huge spider out of the corner of my eye. So far, I have not been able to identify a single creature here in Tennessee. All that I’m sure of are these spiders, but don’t ask me the species, I have no earthly idea and I don’t feel like looking through millions of photos in catalogs online. Been there done that. Very exhausting and very creepy.
I jumped out of the chair immediately, tossing my DVD player on the floor, trying to get far away from the spider. It was slightly smaller than my hand, but the biggest spider I’ve seen so far (besides tarantulas). I grabbed the can of bug spray that supposedly kills ants, roaches and spiders. The first clue should have been obvious: it had a picture of illustrating a roach being killed. So I sprayed the spider as it tried to make its escape (sometimes I feel guilty about this) with the stuff and it just kept crawling fast away. I just about emptied the whole can on the thing and it still kept going! My mom came in with wasp spray (specifically for wasps) and sprayed a little directly on the spider. Guess what? Yeah, it died instantly. That was a major WTF? moment. It was also a terrifying experience for me. As if I don’t have enough phobias as it is with insects! My worst fear is losing sight of the insect I’m trying to kill.

My pets are all still crazy, my cat is still greedy and weighs 10.6 pounds (!). She’s not liking her new diet so she occasionally vomits un-chewed kernels from eating so fast. My dog won’t stop acting like a cat, and my other cat is more rebellious than a teenager. Oh, and the bird is still screaming his head off unless symphony-like music is playing. These pets are work. Sometimes, it really does feel like a zoo.

I’ve been doing other things so I’m still reading On the Road – by Jack Kerouac. It’s…ongoing with pointless adventures or rather, living life to the extreme fullest. It’s good.

“I had nothing to offer anybody except my own confusion.” – Pg. 104 of On the Road by Jack Kerouac.

This Is Not An Awesome Title

I don’t understand how Cleopatra (my cat) can repeatedly go back to eating Caity’s (my dog) food after I have told her several times no to. I ask her what is wrong with her when she does that, but I don’t think she knows. Lately she has been the biggest troublemaker. She has claimed my computer chair so that any time I get up, she steals it. She always  has something to say, and gives me the worst looks when she’s not attacking her sister (Jade, my other cat). Meanwhile, Symba (my bird) screams his head off for various reasons, mostly involving his mirrors. If he can’t see himself, he will make sure you get to fixing the problem. Headaches are constant from his high-pitched squawking. Jade is equally mischievous. She perfects urinating on the most random of things. A couple days ago she ruined a new rug. She’s either (1) urinating/defecating on anything other than in her litter box, (2) scratching the furniture when I’ve told her repeatedly to stop, (3) eating the dog’s food, or (4) running her mouth. Every day brings new surprises.

I have been too lazy to post movie reviews on my blog, so I’m now overwhelmingly behind by about maybe ten movies or so. But that doesn’t stop me from watching even more movies. My mom has been helping me experience older movies that are being remade for the 21st century. She says I have to watch:

  • Adventures in Babysitting from 1987 (when I told her about wanting to see The Sitter)
  • Poltergeist from 1982

I’m okay with horror films made in the twentieth century and prior; it’s the 21st century ones that I refuse to watch. The special effects are too realistic; especially the supernatural movies. It took me two years to get over The Grudge and The Ring. I’m still a little creeped out by it. But I enjoyed Carrie.
I have a few other movies to pick up later:

  • Armageddon (1998)
  • The Big Lebowski (1998)
  • Four Christmases (2008 – I actually never got to finish this.)
  • Girl, Interrupted (1999 – Never got around to watching this.)
  • Saving Private Ryan (1998)
  • Taxi Driver (1976 – This was recommended from the book, “Joe Leydon’s Guide to Essential Movies You Must See If You Read, Write About – or Make Movies”)
  • Wanted (2008)
  • Back to the Future (1985 – I’m embarrassed to say I haven’t seen this by now.)

And actually tons of others I don’t feel like typing out. But maybe you get my idea so I don’t have to bore myself explaining all of it.
I made a trip to RedBox in the middle of blogging this. I’ll watch Contagion and Another Earth tonight.

I’m trying to read these books one at a time, but my mind wanders elsewhere, and when I do focus on one, another gets added to the pile. My mother is to blame, even if she does have good taste:

  • “Alex Rider (#9) Scorpia Rising” by Anthony Horowitz
  • “Disney War” by James B. Stewart
  • “Psych Major Syndrome” by Alicia Thompson
  • “The Crazy Person’s Guide to the Normal World” by Carol J. McCurdy

I can never blog without including at least one list. I love making lists; they’re so helpful.

I’ve still been wasting my time with magazine I suppose. I save everything. Seriously; nothing gets thrown away. I had to make a box or two for all the magazines I’ve been collecting (I have a subscription to Entertainment Weekly). It piles up, but I try to sort through it within a week. I need to get a job so I can subscribe to:

  • Consumer Reports
  • Mad
  • Scientific American
  • Time
  • National Geographic (actually, I need to renew it)
  • PC World
  • Esperenza
  • People (I think my mom subscribed)

I guess I’ve been writing to myself. I don’t mind all that much.
Now I sound like a weirdo; never mind.

Already this seems like a boring post. I have other non-important things to do.

“Opportunities don’t come on your time schedule.”
Kiefer Sutherland

A Slightly Interesting Update

I’ve switched to another hobby: research.
I’m currently researching Christmas. I checked out a ton of books from the library the other day, and with this as a start, I’m well on my way of discovering more useless things to preoccupy my mind.
Next up will be the Yin-Yang symbol. I’ve always wondered about that.

My mom and I decided to swap gifts early: I got the “Torches” Foster the People CD I wanted (I’ve lately taken an interest in them – I first discovered them on “Saturday Night Live”), and my mom got some cool Taylor Swift stuff I found. We’ve yet to “celebrate” Christmas with the extended family. One idea going around is for us all (me, my mom, grandmother, and aunt) to see “War Horse” together on Christmas Day. There’s no way in hell that’s happening. I refuse to watch any movie involving the suffering of an animal. I’m too much of an animal lover to bear something like that. So is my mom. The truth is, I don’t want to see a dramatic movie; I’ve had enough of those. Out of my entire list of movies in theaters I want to see, they pick something way off from my interests; figures.

  • Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows
  • A Very Harold and Kumar 3D Christmas
  • Tower Heist
  • We Bought A Zoo
  • The Descendants
  • The Sitter
  • Hugo
  • Carnage
  • Young Adult

I mainly want to see the first two.
Speaking of which, I’ve been watching loads of movies lately; afterwards, I write reviews and post them online. It’s not a novel, but at least I’m writing again. As you can see, I’m still making lists of probably useless things. I call it work, and my mom calls it nothing. Interesting.
While at the library, I couldn’t help but grab a few novels. Needless to say I had to use a basket, which was heavy and overflowing with mostly books on Christmas history and such. Excluding the Christmas stuff:

  • Neverwhere by Neil Gaiman
  • Easily Amused by Karen McQuestion
  • Annabel by Kathleen Winter
  • Trapped by Michael Northrop
  • Fall for Anything by Courtney Summers

I’ve also been probably wasting my time on magazines; actually one in particular: Entertainment Weekly. I’m beginning to think they don’t give a shit, considering all the letters I’ve been sending and still with no response. That’s okay; I enjoy the process of writing and mailing letters. Although, I’m running out of notebooks, and I’m always out of stamps, so that puts a damper on things.
I guess I’ve been acting weird lately. I’m happy with my new hobby; as I always am. One day, I’ll turn these hobbies into a career. I’ve actually thought a lot about that, and have compiled a list of possibilities (in order):

  1. Writer
  2. Film Critic
  3. Editor
  4. Librarian

Right now I wouldn’t mind a job either working as a mail clerk, or a Blockbuster employee. That would be fun.

Right when I rejoin Facebook, they have to go and screw up the privacy settings to the point of frustration. Timeline is and/or will be the worst thing imaginable. It’s beyond way too personal. And did Mark Zuckerberg not take into account that employers do a search on applicants? Why does he have to be such an asshole? My cursor shall remain hovering over the “delete my account” button.

I still have insomnia, though not as bad as before. For the past few nights now I’ve been listening to the audio version (I love the sound of Johnny Depp‘s voice – which is mainly why I bought this – but I am actually enjoying it) of Life – by Keith Richards on my mp3 player until I get sick of it and/or fall asleep. It’s hard to keep track of my place though; that’s a dead end I don’t wish to revive.
I’m slowly obtaining an interest in music; but my heart will always be in books.

The cats are still a pain in the ass. I pick up cat vomit every morning. The worst part is the manner in discovering it (if you know what I mean). Usually it’s Cleopatra, but today I found Jade vomiting (in the worst places: next to one of their food bowls, and then again on their scratch pad). Jade inhales her food in record speed. She’s also acquired quite a tummy from it. Cleopatra is all fur really, but Jade is indeed a little on the heavy side to the point where you can hear her land after jumping down from something (usually something she’s not supposed to be on) with a loud thump!
Cleopatra has finally been sleeping (napping actually). She still howls throughout the night though; it’s all about Mousie. Ugh.

Pick A State, Any State

Just about everyday has been uneventful. There’s not much to talk about when nothing happens, but I like it when nothing happens because then there’s peace.

I finished The Catcher in the Rye by J. D. Salinger yesterday I think. It was an enjoyable read.
I’m trying to get the classics out of the way before I start reading the latest novels again and others from the library. I feel like I should have read them years ago. Probably.
These are next:

  1. To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee (currently reading)
  2. 1984 by George Orwell
  3. On the Road by Jack Kerouac

I use the library a lot because it’s easier to rent novels I’ve never read before free of charge, instead of buying them and taking the risk of displeasure. So I save $20 every now and then.
The only problem with the library is that they don’t always have the latest novels. It’s uncommon for them to have books published in 2009+, which is extremely frustrating. Sometimes I have no choice and have to make a few purchases, but it’s a last resort.
I was browsing my local library’s web page and noticed a “suggestion” link for the first time (I swear I don’t remember it being there). Hopefully the librarian will approve the purchase suggestions of the new books I sent.
I have a list of 100+ books to read; it grows just about everyday. I find it exciting rather than the overwhelming emotion most people have.

I’ve been renting Redbox DVDs quite frequently lately.
I finally got around to watching Charlie St. Cloud. It was truly beautiful. I really understood it almost to the point of tears.
The Company Men is a movie I’m considering buying. It’s rare that you find a movie that depicts the actual reality of struggle.

In about 136 days, it will be time to move. Hopefully by then my mom and I both will have jobs. Otherwise, it’s another year or so here at this apartment. I hate moving; it’s such a pain in the ass. It’s not just the labor that’s the problem, it’s the effort in which I try to protect my fragile items. I’ve been through three lava lamps; for some reason, I can’t seem to move to another place without breaking a lava lamp. Also, we have way too much junk. I think it took two moving trucks last time.
There aren’t much of any jobs out there nor much time left. My mom is trying to get into a Public Relations career, or possibly writing. Me, I have enough experience to consider a Librarian field, but I really want to be a writer. I wouldn’t mind starting off sorting mail, but all the jobs I’ve applied to won’t even respond.
Nowadays my mom asks me to “pick a state, any state”. Most opportunities seem to be pointing towards Virginia, but I don’t want to live in Virginia; there’s not much out there.

One last thing,
Is there a problem in music not being my everything? I enjoy it every now and then, but I’d much rather be reading.