Where’s the Pause Button on Life?

Another year passed by so quickly. 2013 was surprisingly great for me. I became a better person and was mostly successful: I got out of the house and got a job, made friends (almost zapping my anxiety away completely), took two more online college courses and came to peace with my hair. Not bad.

I’m still loving my job – though it has its ups and downs (nothing is perfect). Overall it’s a joy to be there. I will have been a carhop for a year come the end of January which is super exciting. Right now I had to take some time off to travel with my mom to another one of her residencies in Kentucky. I’d heard of Chicago, but I never thought I would actually experience negative degree weather until a couple days ago when it reached -1 in Murray. The people here are even nicer than in Tennessee which prompts me to tip the pizza guy even bigger (I am now officially out of cash).

The pets are driving me crazy here. The cats and bird have been misbehaving like crazy. Cleopatra won’t stop hissing at her sister Jade and Symba won’t stop screaming his head off. Caity (the dog) has a new trick called selective hearing. It seems nobody can behave.

My plans for this new year are kind of up in the air. The only thing I can confirm right now is my attendance for Johnny Depp‘s upcoming movie Transcendence in theaters in April. I still dream about him, sadly, but he has given me a new (sort of) inspiration for writing material. I am enjoying my mediocre-professional new camera I got (exchanged previously by two other cameras) for Christmas courtesy of my wonderful mother: Nikon CoolPix P520. It takes great shots and it’s easily portable. I love it.

I’m still watching a ton of movies and reading constantly. The last movie I watched was an old James Bond film, Diamonds Are Forever (1971). The last book I read was “Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas” by the great Hunter S. Thompson (the second book I’ve read of his).
I’m still watching my favorite shows (in order of importance): Criminal Minds, Elementary, and New Girl. I have lately added to the list: The Michael J. Fox Show, Mom, and The Crazy Ones. I have yet to check out The Millers. I’ve been catching up on Undercover Boss (I like knowing about things) and I just recently learned of a new and interesting show: Intelligence. I wonder what my tastes say about me..

Apparently phones last even less than cars. My Samsung Galaxy S3 has lately turned into an annoying piece of shit. I’ve been struggling with it for the past few days because I recently up-sized the micro SD card and I guess it didn’t like that so it’s been acting up even more. Most times it doesn’t feel like sending messages – and when it does, they always take forever to send. I have given up on it. Maybe tomorrow I’ll have a a change of heart, though I doubt it. There’s no point wasting my time again with T-Mobile. They’ll just tell me all the things I already know including to try and set it back to factory – which is below my last resort.

Well, that’s all for now. My cat (Cleopatra) is whining about something and I guess I should go see what she wants.
You may delay, but time will not.” – Benjamin Franklin

A Night Out with a Bunch of Writers

Tonight I decided to join my mother and the rest of her MFA classmates in dinner and a movie. We had a lot of fun and I connected with a lot of her friends/peers. I felt at home, considering I’m aspiring to be a writer too. Minus the majority of them drinking, we laughed, joked, and laughed some more about writing and college experiences. We met at one of their houses, and my mom parked in a ditch. Afterwards, we met up again at a Mexican restaurant for dinner (the poets went to this sushi place right next to where the fiction writers were dining at the Mexican restaurant). It was a small place, but we’d heard it was the best. We walked in (all fifteen of us) and two waiters passed by with an almost horrific look on their faces. It was cramped and they were trying to figure out where to put all of us. Another waiter (the manager I think) came by (with the same look on his face) and said (in a thick accent) he’d go put a table together for us. Five minutes later, we’re still waiting and wondered if he literally meant he was going to put a table together. He arrived shortly after that and seated us near the kitchen with about seven small tables pushed together. They were all of different heights, but they worked. The food however, was another story. I actually am not fond of Mexican food (only Taco Bell which is awesome, but not really Mexican food.) but I decided to give it another try. There was a lot to choose from, but I ordered a chicken enchilada and a side order of nacho chips with nacho cheese. The waiter who took our orders had an even thicker accent and spoke broken English; he understood even less English. I remembered to use my hands when speaking but that didn’t really get me anywhere. The enchilada did not taste like an enchilada (as my mother put it, “Yucky.”), and the nacho cheese I was looking forward to since I hadn’t had it in a long time (I love nacho cheese); but what I got was not nacho cheese. I could tell before he placed my plate on the table. It was much lighter – almost white, and thicker. Before I tasted it I knew they had melted a couple slices of white American cheese and put it over the nachos.

I got the waiter’s attention and asked for a saucer (I was animated while doing this) of nacho cheese. I said it three times (the first time, he pointed at my plate and nodded) until finally he said, “No nacho cheese.” and left. I was disappointed and defeated. He came back though about two minutes later with a saucer of the same cheese, but melted completely so that it was clearly a liquid substance.

I accepted with a “Thank you” and shook my head laughing. Figures.
After we left, we all kind of hung out in the parking lot laughing and joking some more and thinking of a way to get out of seeing the mandatory movie at the university. While we were hanging around, an older, beat up, discolored car rolled past us with rap music blasting out of the rolled down windows. We burst out laughing when we saw a elderly white couple driving in the car.
We then headed to the university, dragging our feet all the way up to the third floor where the theater was. We thought of one more excuse to get out of watching the movie: we got stuck in the elevator. But we showed up anyway right on time. The poets showed up a little later, just when the movie was starting. From the beginning to the end, we held WTF? expressions on our faces as we sat through Beasts of the Southern Wild; a film that is apparently nominated for an Oscar. My mom described our thoughts perfectly: “The people that nominated this film were on crack.”
As soon as the credits rolled we jumped out of our seats and exited the theater.

My mom and I arrived back at our hotel thirty minutes later and reunited with our four pets. I was welcomed home by one cat who showed her love to me by stealing my seat on the couch.

I’m pretty exhausted, so I’ll write my review of that God-awful movie tomorrow. My mom said she’ll probably have weird nightmares; probably.

Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.
– Scott Adams

Book Problems and Genuine Friends

I’ve been having some book problems lately. Something I never thought I’d here myself say.
Maybe I’m getting sick of the Young Adult genre, maybe I’ve been reading too much, or maybe I need to find more books. Maybe.
      My current stack:

  • Hate List by Jennifer Brown
    (The main character seems like a wannabe who is clueless when it comes to real teenage problems. This makes it difficult to read.)
  • The Six Rules of Maybe by Deb Caletti
    (I usually love her books, but once again, the main character seems clueless when it comes to real issues. Inexperienced I guess; I don’t know)
  • The Boy Who Couldn’t Sleep and Never Had To by D.C. Pierson
  • Tales of the Madman Underground by John Barnes
  • The House of Tomorrow by Peter Bognanni
  • How to Build a House by Dana Reinhardt
  • Feed by M.T. Anderson
I watched some movies with my mom last night:
Little Fockers was hilarious. I hope they make another one.
I Am Number Four surprised me. It was amazing. Not cliché at all.

I haven’t really been doing much else. I sleep, read, watch movies, daydream, cyber stalk Johnny Depp (really but not really), post to Twitter from my phone, and avoid Facebook as much as possible.
My Blackberry gives me issues every now and then, but it’s still more convenient than other phones. That’s why I still have it. But I really need Android’s apps. It’s still an ongoing debate; Blackberry vs. Android.
I like Twitter because it’s like I’m talking to myself, but it’s public so sometimes I get feedback from different people. Twitter isn’t necessarily about friends; Facebook is. I’ve never really been a social person, so I love Twitter. 
With Facebook, I always wonder who knocked me off their friends list this week and such. I see the happy lives of people from my past who I doubt are really friends to me. I have a few friends I have never met; those are the genuine ones, as far as I can see. 

The Best and the Worst

I don’t think saying ‘I don’t know what to say..‘ is a good way to start a blog, so this might turn into a post consisting of fragments.

I’ve pretty much been Agnostic all my life, despite being raised in a Christian-Baptist family.
I started reading this book, The Case for Christ: A Journalist’s Personal Investigation of the Evidence for Jesus by Lee Strobel. He makes some good points. At first it’s hard to pick up, because you’re probably thinking ‘Oh this is just another one of those boring Christian books that talks about life-changing experiences. Blah blah blah…’. But no, this highly educated journalist (who specializes in Law) goes around the world interviewing highly-recognized scholars for the truth.
I would have been done with it a couple days ago, but I own the book, so before I started reading it, I finished reading the library books I had at the time so I could focus on this book. I have this fear of running out of books to read. I’ve been trying to stretch it as far as I can, until I pickup some more library books. One chapter left, and eight books on hold at the library, ready for pickup. Perfect.

Twitter is basically my life. I probably just talk to myself, but there are people out there who are similar in nature, and sometimes use Twitter to vent. I prefer Twitter over Facebook any day. Why? Because Facebook is based on friends (which I lack), and social skills (which I lack). Twitter is more relaxed. I feel exposed on Facebook, whereas on Twitter I have some privacy. I also enjoy talking to the people on Twitter than I do with my ‘friends’ on Facebook. My friends on Facebook mostly consist of old friends from school, family, and some internet buddies I have acquired during the years (most of whom are great-especially one in particular). Twitter also gives you the opportunity to talk with celebrities. The only frustrating part is not all of the celebrities are on Twitter.

My cats are still crazy. One eats fortune cookies, but they both eat beef jerky. The fat one never shuts up at night. She sounds like a softer version of a wolf howling at the moon. Needless to say, sleep rarely comes. I love cats, so I’m willing to suffer.

That’s really all that is worth mentioning.

Plenty of Time and Thoughts

Lately I’ve had a problem with reading books in moderation.
I read one book in about a day; then I started a new one, and now I’m almost finished with it. Plus, I have five books on hold for me at the library. Most of my latest book obsessions come from GoodReads. Awesome website.
There is one particular book I would like to read, but can’t find. About two years ago, I wrote it down, but now I can’t remember. All I know is that there is a boy swimming in a pool on the cover. But I’m only 95% sure about that. I could just be thinking about Spencer Elden. It’s so frustrating. I don’t remember the title, or the author, which makes this book impossible to find. I really do have a terrible memory.

I sent off some more complaint letters to companies: Twitter, and Redbox. I doubt they care.
I recently added McDonald’s to the list (the size of their milks is ridiculous), AT&T, Google, and Viacom are next.
In case you’re wondering, yes, I enjoy having nothing better to do with my time.
I also started back on my novel I’ve been working on for the past five years. I’m never satisfied, but this is good so far.

My mom is concerned about my lack of friends. This is not news. My grandmother is concerned as well.
I found a PenPal, but otherwise none of that really bothers me.
The number of my Facebook friends went back and forth between 97-99 a few days ago. It’s at at a 98 now, but who knows how long that will last. It was mostly people deleting their Facebook pages, but there were also the few that just got sick of me I guess. I’m just amazed at the determination they had of deleting me, when they have 300+ friends. Oh well.

My Blackberry Curve 8520 is starting to really give me doubt about keeping it. I love Blackberry, but in September I’m switching to the My Touch 3G Slide. I need an Android.

I’m beginning to think I think too much..

Dreams and other scary things

I was in the middle of morphing into another rare, indestructible substance, while fighting off my attackers in the night, when my mom wakes me up at 11am to run some errands.
Occasionally, I’ll have dreams about being chased by some enemy I’ve never seen before, who is usually trying to kill me. Then there are my “normal” dreams I have about this ex-friend of mine. For about two years now, I’ve been having dreams about this friend I used to have up till I/we was/were sixteen. In my dreams, we become friends again. Every dream is like that. I can take a hint, but it doesn’t mean I’m going to do anything about it. There’s nothing to do about it, unfortunately. People tell me she wasn’t really a friend anyway, but I disagree.
Every day I fight back the urge to talk to you. I tell myself that if you wanted to speak to me, you would.
Today was the first day I left the house in…one, maybe two weeks or more. Once I dealt with my hair (took an hour of frustration, thanks to my weird, curly/wavy hair), and found clothes that wouldn’t fall off me as much as the rest of my clothes do (I recently lost 30 pounds), I was able to leave. I stepped outside, and was first blinded by the sunlight, then chased all the way down to the car by these bugs that tease me every time I step foot outside. Nobody believes me when I tell them this. I dealt with my anxiety for the rest of the day.
I wasn’t able to find the cat cube that we really need. We have two cats; one is very skinny, the other has a striking resemblance to Garfield (minus the color and gender). I’m having trouble finding a cube that fatty can fit in. It would help if she would stop stealing food, but that’s not going to happen any time soon. If there’s food, Cleopatra will find it. Trust me.
I did find a purse finally. It’s strange though; I found it in a store I have no interest in whatsoever. My mom loves the store, and can spend forever looking around. So I decided to look around as well. I’m not a fan of leather purses, but I did find a $30 one that seems to suit me.
Once I got home, I was physically exhausted. Now I’m relaxing in bed with my laptop, and my cat (Jade) that keeps hitting me in the face with her tail. She never leaves my side. It’s nice to have some company that doesn’t make me uncomfortable.
I’ve never really ever made sense. I’m okay with that now.