Where’s the Pause Button on Life?

Another year passed by so quickly. 2013 was surprisingly great for me. I became a better person and was mostly successful: I got out of the house and got a job, made friends (almost zapping my anxiety away completely), took two more online college courses and came to peace with my hair. Not bad.

I’m still loving my job – though it has its ups and downs (nothing is perfect). Overall it’s a joy to be there. I will have been a carhop for a year come the end of January which is super exciting. Right now I had to take some time off to travel with my mom to another one of her residencies in Kentucky. I’d heard of Chicago, but I never thought I would actually experience negative degree weather until a couple days ago when it reached -1 in Murray. The people here are even nicer than in Tennessee which prompts me to tip the pizza guy even bigger (I am now officially out of cash).

The pets are driving me crazy here. The cats and bird have been misbehaving like crazy. Cleopatra won’t stop hissing at her sister Jade and Symba won’t stop screaming his head off. Caity (the dog) has a new trick called selective hearing. It seems nobody can behave.

My plans for this new year are kind of up in the air. The only thing I can confirm right now is my attendance for Johnny Depp‘s upcoming movie Transcendence in theaters in April. I still dream about him, sadly, but he has given me a new (sort of) inspiration for writing material. I am enjoying my mediocre-professional new camera I got (exchanged previously by two other cameras) for Christmas courtesy of my wonderful mother: Nikon CoolPix P520. It takes great shots and it’s easily portable. I love it.

I’m still watching a ton of movies and reading constantly. The last movie I watched was an old James Bond film, Diamonds Are Forever (1971). The last book I read was “Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas” by the great Hunter S. Thompson (the second book I’ve read of his).
I’m still watching my favorite shows (in order of importance): Criminal Minds, Elementary, and New Girl. I have lately added to the list: The Michael J. Fox Show, Mom, and The Crazy Ones. I have yet to check out The Millers. I’ve been catching up on Undercover Boss (I like knowing about things) and I just recently learned of a new and interesting show: Intelligence. I wonder what my tastes say about me..

Apparently phones last even less than cars. My Samsung Galaxy S3 has lately turned into an annoying piece of shit. I’ve been struggling with it for the past few days because I recently up-sized the micro SD card and I guess it didn’t like that so it’s been acting up even more. Most times it doesn’t feel like sending messages – and when it does, they always take forever to send. I have given up on it. Maybe tomorrow I’ll have a a change of heart, though I doubt it. There’s no point wasting my time again with T-Mobile. They’ll just tell me all the things I already know including to try and set it back to factory – which is below my last resort.

Well, that’s all for now. My cat (Cleopatra) is whining about something and I guess I should go see what she wants.
You may delay, but time will not.” – Benjamin Franklin

New Beginnings

It’s been awhile since I’ve done anything that I used to do and love to do all the time. I actually feel guilty about it. Writing, blogging, taking pictures, etc. I’ve tried to stay on track with reading, drawing and watching movies, but it’s kind of hard when I spend all my time and energy working. One thing I never fully understood was the meaning of fast food. The definition has alerted my body so that when I come home, I go straight to bed for either a nap, or the night. I sleep for hours. Gone is my insomnia. Gone is my lazy life. I just try to keep up with it all. My coworkers make going to work fun though. They’re all hilarious and and make great company. Of course, it’s a lot better when I don’t screw up but they make me feel better and that’s awesome. Just observing, it’s like watching a really good sitcom.
I’m sort of enjoying my favorite season, but I never imagined something as extreme as ice on the car. That’s okay though, I like to wrap up and just relax. I’m dreading summer, but I doubt the humidity here will ever be as bad as back home. Speaking of home, God I’m so homesick. My mom and I will hopefully move back to our hometown in 2015. I just wish moving was easier. The physical aspect of moving I absolutely loathe. It doesn’t help that we need at least a four bedroom this time. No way can we shove all these pets and crap into a two bedroom. No way.

As a loyal Johnny Depp fan, I feel the need to complete my movie collection. I finally got around to ordering The Rum Diary and The Brave. At first, I’d gone looking for The Rum Diary in local stores completely shocked to find that they didn’t have a single DVD. Wtf? How in the hell is that even possible? But that’s what happens when you move from a huge city of almost five million people to a small town of a little over thirty-three thousand.
The Brave was very frustrating trying to find. I knew that Johnny Depp didn’t release his movie in this region, but I didn’t think it would be do difficult to find it on the world wide web. After finding it and paying more than I wanted to for it, I had to deal with making sure it was for all regions, because it’s not like I’ve got an all regions or region 2 player lying around anywhere. I don’t understand. You’d think he would be proud of his directorial debut, but nooooo, he won’t ever release it in the United States. If I hopefully ever meet him, boy will I have some questions for him.

If you’re still with me and haven’t been bored to death, here’s an update on the books I’m reading:
I’m mainly finishing Sword of the Rightful King by Jane Yolen that I started a couple years ago and pretty much forgot about (I actually love it), and I’m planning on reading these that are on my nightstand next:
Mental by Eddie Sarfaty
Between Mom and Jo by Julie Anne Peters (I also started reading this some years ago)
Brave New World by Aldous Huxley

Now, if this damn Flixster app decides to work, I’ll watch Demolition Man before bed. I just don’t get it; technology is supposed to work. We are so not ready for robots.

Life belongs to the living, and he who lives must be prepared for changes.”
Johann Wolfgang von Goetge

No, I Don’t Care To Elaborate

I carry this notepad around with me as well as a fancy pen now. It’s more effective than relying on my own memory. It’s also helpful because I love documenting everything.

I should probably be talking about this on my other blog, but I’ll just say that I’ve been really busy in the movie department. It’ll be easier to just link you to my IMDb watchlist and mention watching The Aviator tonight. My mom has been helpful finding older, good movies for me. My mother was born in 1973 but she grew up with premium television so some older movies replayed from time to time. I was born in 1993, and I must say I’m not too proud of my generation; it’s almost embarrassing. But there are a lot of good, non-crazy people from my generation so we’re not all bad.
My other obsessive hobby – reading – has slowed down a bit to make room for movies. I’m currently reading Don’t Sleep with Your Drummer by Jen Sincero. I’m eager to start the following, but I’m forcing myself to finish the one I’m currently reading before I start another:

  • Waiting to Exhale by Terry McMillan
  • The Joy Luck Club by Amy Tan
  • Does the Noise in my Head Bother You? by Steven Tyler

I named all those by heart. They sit on my nightstand and I stare at them every night in bed. Books and movies make me happy. Speaking of which, I’ve still been getting asked a million times my plans for college. How many times can I say I’M WORKING ON IT PEOPLE!!! My current interest is Film School for Film Criticism and/or Screenwriting. I’ll start sometime next year; maybe in January. I don’t know so please stop bothering me about it. My grandmother calls and tells me ever-so-casually that all my cousins are moving on in life and are attending college and blah blah blah; that’s great, it really is. Good for them, now what’s your point? She’s a bit tricky when it comes to conversation though so I usually just don’t say anything; I find that it’s easier that way.

I’ve also been playing The Sims FreePlay which is so much fun and awesome it’s just amazing and also makes me happy. I really care about my sims though a lot of times their needs are overwhelming and annoying. They’re so real. I love them.

I’ve been working on my novel lately and am happy with the results so far; well, sort of. Please, please don’t ask me what it’s about because it’s a bit complicated and embarrassing and nowhere near finished. It’s currently leaning towards a Romance genre but I really don’t what it there. I’d like to write about a little romance in mental hospital; a sort of quirky book in the Fiction genre. I’m working on it.

My cat has become really crazy lately. Jade pees on the dog’s stuff more frequently and now glares at me every time we make eye contact. I don’t know what the hell is the matter with her but she certainly has changed. That was confirmed the other night when it was time for them to go to bed (they have their own little houses – that lock – to sleep in, because we have four pets and can’t just let them all run around unattended), I put Cleopatra (our other cat) up and Jade knew she was next, so she ran from me into her cube thing. I tried gently pulling her out as she screamed “meownooooo! Noooooooo!” and I almost got her before she hissed at me. I jumped back, surprised. She has never ever hissed at me ever. I was so shocked.
Symba (our bird) has been a handful as well. He screams his little head off unless symphony-classic-like music is playing and he has Fruit Loops. They’re all so spoiled. Caity (our dog) has so many cute beds to sleep in that it’s ridiculous. But they’re so cute! That’s what gets me.

I’ve recently taken up watching TV with my mom on Thursday nights. She got me into watching Braxton Family Values and L.A. Hair. It’s so hilarious. I don’t like reality TV, but this is seriously funny and real.

I’ve got a huge stack of Entertainment Weekly magazines (among others) that I’m trying to get through. It doesn’t help that I renewed my yearly subscription a few months ago, so there’s plenty more to come. It’s overwhelming, but I really want to read them all.

Wow, I think this is the first post where I haven’t mentioned Johnny Depp! Oh, whoops…

“As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live.”
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Overflowing Movies, Unidentifiable Bugs, And More Life Frustrations

I have this long list of movies to see and it only gets longer no matter how many movies I try to catch up on. My main priorities (movies) are:

  • The Avengers
  • Men in Black 3
  • The Winning Season (can’t find it anywhere to rent)
  • The Boys Are Back (can’t find it anywhere to rent)
  • Dr. T and the Women (can’t find it anywhere to rent)
  • Drowning Mona (can’t find it anywhere to rent)
  • Goodfellas
  • Brave
  • Anchorman (trying to find it before the second comes out)
  • Pulp Fiction
  • Smokey and the Bandit 2 (can’t find it)
  • The Brave (can’t find it in the whole U.S.)
  • Alien
  • Loosies
  • Ghost (I can’t bear to watch sad movies, but this is a must according to my mom)
  • Mirror Mirror
  • Snow White and the Huntsman

I usually just wait to rent from Redbox, but I’m rather impatient for some movies. Also, it’s not like I have an unlimited supply of money to go to the theaters every movie or so. Speaking of which, I’m looking forward to these this year:

  • The Amazing Spider-Man (tomorrow – July 3rd)
  • The Watch (July 27th)
  • Total Recall (August 3rd)
  • Hope Springs (August 10th)
  • Premium Rush (August 24th)
  • Lawless (August 31st)
  • The Good Doctor (August 31st – I might wait for this to come to DVD)
  • Taken 2 (October 5th)
  • The Wedding (October 19th)
  • Robot & Frank (October 25th)
  • Thor 2 (November 8th)
  • The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey (December 14th)

There are a few others, but the above list are the ones I’m really excited about seeing.
I think I watched like three movies yesterday. I hadn’t planned on the third one, but while I was updating my movie lists (apparently that’s all I ever do – update lists) and browsing IMDb, I came across something so awesome my heart skipped a beat; I watched a full length movie, S.W.A.T., for free on this website I discovered also: Crackle. So I stayed up and enjoyed my luck.

Lately I’ve been having extreme cellphone frustrations and problems. I have been through THREE of these (two within the last 30 days). I think I want this one but tomorrow I’m getting this as a replacement. I hate the Windows platform; I have had nothing but problems with them in the past. Nobody even trusts them anymore! You hardly ever see a popular website offering an app available on Windows. I went through a list (ha!) of my favorite apps and came up short with a few when comparing Android and Windows. GoodReads does not have an app for Windows; that really sucks. But I got a few of my other favorites. Ugh, I am so sick of resetting phones! But there’s not much of anything I can do about it. It just is what it is unfortunately. Damn.

I’m going back and forth with college decisions, so nothing is permanent. No problem. I’m used to it, and I’m not particularly looking forward to heading back to college online or not. But I have to do something, and no one will hire me. I blame the government. Why must things have to be so complicated? Yeah yeah, I love my country, and things could be worse, but we have some serious problems that aren’t going anywhere because it takes so long to make a final decision!

Meanwhile I’m looking around the house for the important documents I need to switch my driver’s license (I still have a Texas license, living in Tennessee). I’m trying to get it all done before the voting starts. I’ve given myself a deadline of one month or so before November 6th to get everything in (30 days to deal with the voter’s registration crap). I don’t mean to get into politics, but I have a strong feeling that our votes don’t matter. Things are so not what they should be. But I want to vote this year. It’s especially important considering this will be my first time. It takes so much just to prove existence..it’s really annoying.

We have a major spider problem. There are wasps too, but oddly enough they’re friendly. I sprayed wasp spray the other day because they were swarming around the front door. I stood in the doorway while spraying all around where I could reach; I sprayed the doorway above my head like a dumbass. I rinsed my head and arms unsure of how toxic it is to humans (who reads the warning labels?). I ended up using the whole can; if you ask me, they don’t put enough in there in the first place. What a rip off. Same with cereal and chips and soda bottles, etc. Is it too much to ask to get my money’s worth?
Anyway, the spider problem: now that I think about it, it’s quite funny. First off, my advice is to get bug spray for the specific pest you are trying to rid of. Don’t get the combination. So, the other night I was sitting in my beanbag chair about to watch a movie on my portable DVD player, when I saw a huge spider out of the corner of my eye. So far, I have not been able to identify a single creature here in Tennessee. All that I’m sure of are these spiders, but don’t ask me the species, I have no earthly idea and I don’t feel like looking through millions of photos in catalogs online. Been there done that. Very exhausting and very creepy.
I jumped out of the chair immediately, tossing my DVD player on the floor, trying to get far away from the spider. It was slightly smaller than my hand, but the biggest spider I’ve seen so far (besides tarantulas). I grabbed the can of bug spray that supposedly kills ants, roaches and spiders. The first clue should have been obvious: it had a picture of illustrating a roach being killed. So I sprayed the spider as it tried to make its escape (sometimes I feel guilty about this) with the stuff and it just kept crawling fast away. I just about emptied the whole can on the thing and it still kept going! My mom came in with wasp spray (specifically for wasps) and sprayed a little directly on the spider. Guess what? Yeah, it died instantly. That was a major WTF? moment. It was also a terrifying experience for me. As if I don’t have enough phobias as it is with insects! My worst fear is losing sight of the insect I’m trying to kill.

My pets are all still crazy, my cat is still greedy and weighs 10.6 pounds (!). She’s not liking her new diet so she occasionally vomits un-chewed kernels from eating so fast. My dog won’t stop acting like a cat, and my other cat is more rebellious than a teenager. Oh, and the bird is still screaming his head off unless symphony-like music is playing. These pets are work. Sometimes, it really does feel like a zoo.

I’ve been doing other things so I’m still reading On the Road – by Jack Kerouac. It’s…ongoing with pointless adventures or rather, living life to the extreme fullest. It’s good.

“I had nothing to offer anybody except my own confusion.” – Pg. 104 of On the Road by Jack Kerouac.

My 3-Day Birthday and More Bugs

I turned 19 yesterday (May 31st). I don’t feel it at all. It’s just a number.
The day before my birthday my mom let me get a few things I picked out while shopping for the apartment. I got a few puzzles. I love puzzles. I have not yet concurred the 1,000 piece puzzle, but 500 piece puzzles are easy to me. I found one that is 750 pieces. I can’t wait to start them. Yes, I’m back on my puzzle-obsession phase.
Afterwards, we went to see Dark Shadows finally (it wasn’t as great as I thought it would be. That’s like the second movie now of Johnny Depp‘s that have sort of disappointed me (the first was The Rum Diary)).
The day OF my birthday, my mom and I rented a movie (Gone) after I finished decorating and organizing around the apartment (another new obsession/hobby).
Today I finally got around to claiming my tiny birthday scoop of ice cream from Baskin Robbins. For once I was sick of getting chocolate, so I tried Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough; I’m really not fond of vanilla. I enjoyed the Blue Raspberry Sherbet much better.
I discovered a few interesting things and a little too much information from my family. I’ve been promised gift cards (or something like that), so I’m having fun with the mail. I still have a major interest in mail. I sent off like five postcards to friends and family back in my hometown and so. I like stamps too by the way.

I’ve been watching a bunch of movies lately, but I’ve still managed to get some reading in. I’m currently reading ”On The Road” – by Jack Kerouac. It’s all sorts of things, but by far the strangest book I’ve ever read. Johnny Depp doesn’t make much sense either.

You know, it’s very frustrating to prove to someone that you’re serious and not crazy when there has been a lot of craziness in the past (a rather soon past, I’ll admit). I have major anxiety, and the outdoors increases my fears. It’s not so much the feeling of pain, because it’s barely a pain; no, it’s the site of the biting insects that creep me out so much that I run around screaming and slapping myself all over like a maniac. Well, I was helping my mom take out the trash, when all of a sudden I felt something small and alive land on my shoulder and neck. I dropped the trash bag right there and slapped my ear. My mom thought I was just imagining something out of past fears, but I felt a tiny sting on my neck and then my shoulder. I still hadn’t made it to the dumpster yet, so I dropped the trash again and this time slapped myself all over while jumping around and asking if ”there was something on me” to which my mom checked several times and saw nothing. A bit more edgy and uncertain, I finally made it to the dumpster and got rid of the trash. Right when I finished disposing of the trash, I felt several more stings; I had had enough and this time started shrieking, jumping around, asking if my mom could see it, and making a fool of myself as I beat myself all over from my torso up. I looked down my shirt and got a glimpse of the offender: it looked smaller than a wasp and skinnier than a bee. It was slightly larger than an average ant, and it had wings. I heard a long time ago that either the queen or the king can fly and perhaps do more damage. I have a feeling this was a queen. As I looked down my shirt and beat myself (it was sort of in my bra), my mom said to just take my shirt off RIGHT OUT IN THE OPEN. I said no way and continued beating myself all the way to the car. Once I got in, I immediately took my shirt off and inspected everything. I also again, asked my mom if she saw anything. She was saying that it was all in my head. It took like two minutes for the bumps to form, but sure enough I was covered in sloppy, tiny bites around my shoulder and neck. I was on edge the entire car ride (still am actually). Unfortunately these experiences have scared me so badly that now I start slapping myself if I feel the tiniest of touch. Most of the time it turns out to be my hair flying in my face. Ugh, what a life.

The news has gotten really insane, so I try to ignore it and watch movies and classic cartoons (when I can find them). You know, we humans bring a lot on our own selves. The world just gets crazier by the day.

”Happiness does not depend on what you have or who you are, it solely relies on what you think.”
– Buddha

This Is Not An Awesome Title

I don’t understand how Cleopatra (my cat) can repeatedly go back to eating Caity’s (my dog) food after I have told her several times no to. I ask her what is wrong with her when she does that, but I don’t think she knows. Lately she has been the biggest troublemaker. She has claimed my computer chair so that any time I get up, she steals it. She always  has something to say, and gives me the worst looks when she’s not attacking her sister (Jade, my other cat). Meanwhile, Symba (my bird) screams his head off for various reasons, mostly involving his mirrors. If he can’t see himself, he will make sure you get to fixing the problem. Headaches are constant from his high-pitched squawking. Jade is equally mischievous. She perfects urinating on the most random of things. A couple days ago she ruined a new rug. She’s either (1) urinating/defecating on anything other than in her litter box, (2) scratching the furniture when I’ve told her repeatedly to stop, (3) eating the dog’s food, or (4) running her mouth. Every day brings new surprises.

I have been too lazy to post movie reviews on my blog, so I’m now overwhelmingly behind by about maybe ten movies or so. But that doesn’t stop me from watching even more movies. My mom has been helping me experience older movies that are being remade for the 21st century. She says I have to watch:

  • Adventures in Babysitting from 1987 (when I told her about wanting to see The Sitter)
  • Poltergeist from 1982

I’m okay with horror films made in the twentieth century and prior; it’s the 21st century ones that I refuse to watch. The special effects are too realistic; especially the supernatural movies. It took me two years to get over The Grudge and The Ring. I’m still a little creeped out by it. But I enjoyed Carrie.
I have a few other movies to pick up later:

  • Armageddon (1998)
  • The Big Lebowski (1998)
  • Four Christmases (2008 – I actually never got to finish this.)
  • Girl, Interrupted (1999 – Never got around to watching this.)
  • Saving Private Ryan (1998)
  • Taxi Driver (1976 – This was recommended from the book, “Joe Leydon’s Guide to Essential Movies You Must See If You Read, Write About – or Make Movies”)
  • Wanted (2008)
  • Back to the Future (1985 – I’m embarrassed to say I haven’t seen this by now.)

And actually tons of others I don’t feel like typing out. But maybe you get my idea so I don’t have to bore myself explaining all of it.
I made a trip to RedBox in the middle of blogging this. I’ll watch Contagion and Another Earth tonight.

I’m trying to read these books one at a time, but my mind wanders elsewhere, and when I do focus on one, another gets added to the pile. My mother is to blame, even if she does have good taste:

  • “Alex Rider (#9) Scorpia Rising” by Anthony Horowitz
  • “Disney War” by James B. Stewart
  • “Psych Major Syndrome” by Alicia Thompson
  • “The Crazy Person’s Guide to the Normal World” by Carol J. McCurdy

I can never blog without including at least one list. I love making lists; they’re so helpful.

I’ve still been wasting my time with magazine I suppose. I save everything. Seriously; nothing gets thrown away. I had to make a box or two for all the magazines I’ve been collecting (I have a subscription to Entertainment Weekly). It piles up, but I try to sort through it within a week. I need to get a job so I can subscribe to:

  • Consumer Reports
  • Mad
  • Scientific American
  • Time
  • National Geographic (actually, I need to renew it)
  • PC World
  • Esperenza
  • People (I think my mom subscribed)

I guess I’ve been writing to myself. I don’t mind all that much.
Now I sound like a weirdo; never mind.

Already this seems like a boring post. I have other non-important things to do.

“Opportunities don’t come on your time schedule.”
Kiefer Sutherland