My 3-Day Birthday and More Bugs

I turned 19 yesterday (May 31st). I don’t feel it at all. It’s just a number.
The day before my birthday my mom let me get a few things I picked out while shopping for the apartment. I got a few puzzles. I love puzzles. I have not yet concurred the 1,000 piece puzzle, but 500 piece puzzles are easy to me. I found one that is 750 pieces. I can’t wait to start them. Yes, I’m back on my puzzle-obsession phase.
Afterwards, we went to see Dark Shadows finally (it wasn’t as great as I thought it would be. That’s like the second movie now of Johnny Depp‘s that have sort of disappointed me (the first was The Rum Diary)).
The day OF my birthday, my mom and I rented a movie (Gone) after I finished decorating and organizing around the apartment (another new obsession/hobby).
Today I finally got around to claiming my tiny birthday scoop of ice cream from Baskin Robbins. For once I was sick of getting chocolate, so I tried Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough; I’m really not fond of vanilla. I enjoyed the Blue Raspberry Sherbet much better.
I discovered a few interesting things and a little too much information from my family. I’ve been promised gift cards (or something like that), so I’m having fun with the mail. I still have a major interest in mail. I sent off like five postcards to friends and family back in my hometown and so. I like stamps too by the way.

I’ve been watching a bunch of movies lately, but I’ve still managed to get some reading in. I’m currently reading ”On The Road” – by Jack Kerouac. It’s all sorts of things, but by far the strangest book I’ve ever read. Johnny Depp doesn’t make much sense either.

You know, it’s very frustrating to prove to someone that you’re serious and not crazy when there has been a lot of craziness in the past (a rather soon past, I’ll admit). I have major anxiety, and the outdoors increases my fears. It’s not so much the feeling of pain, because it’s barely a pain; no, it’s the site of the biting insects that creep me out so much that I run around screaming and slapping myself all over like a maniac. Well, I was helping my mom take out the trash, when all of a sudden I felt something small and alive land on my shoulder and neck. I dropped the trash bag right there and slapped my ear. My mom thought I was just imagining something out of past fears, but I felt a tiny sting on my neck and then my shoulder. I still hadn’t made it to the dumpster yet, so I dropped the trash again and this time slapped myself all over while jumping around and asking if ”there was something on me” to which my mom checked several times and saw nothing. A bit more edgy and uncertain, I finally made it to the dumpster and got rid of the trash. Right when I finished disposing of the trash, I felt several more stings; I had had enough and this time started shrieking, jumping around, asking if my mom could see it, and making a fool of myself as I beat myself all over from my torso up. I looked down my shirt and got a glimpse of the offender: it looked smaller than a wasp and skinnier than a bee. It was slightly larger than an average ant, and it had wings. I heard a long time ago that either the queen or the king can fly and perhaps do more damage. I have a feeling this was a queen. As I looked down my shirt and beat myself (it was sort of in my bra), my mom said to just take my shirt off RIGHT OUT IN THE OPEN. I said no way and continued beating myself all the way to the car. Once I got in, I immediately took my shirt off and inspected everything. I also again, asked my mom if she saw anything. She was saying that it was all in my head. It took like two minutes for the bumps to form, but sure enough I was covered in sloppy, tiny bites around my shoulder and neck. I was on edge the entire car ride (still am actually). Unfortunately these experiences have scared me so badly that now I start slapping myself if I feel the tiniest of touch. Most of the time it turns out to be my hair flying in my face. Ugh, what a life.

The news has gotten really insane, so I try to ignore it and watch movies and classic cartoons (when I can find them). You know, we humans bring a lot on our own selves. The world just gets crazier by the day.

”Happiness does not depend on what you have or who you are, it solely relies on what you think.”
– Buddha

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We All Have Problems

Let me introduce you to my pets (if I haven’t already):

Symba bird: Cockatiel (age: 15)
His current spot is in a parrot cage on top of my mom’s dresser. Nobody can walk past him without him pitching a fit. He squeaks, he squawks, and he’s weird. Ever since I was three, he’s always hated my hair. Even when I don’t have bedhead, he yells at me. But he loves it when I share my cereal with him. Right now he’s munching on Fruit Loops. He actually prefers cereal instead of his regular bird food. He makes a mess on the floor; I noticed lately that it’s deliberate. He’s very particular and picky about what is put into his cage. So there really aren’t any toys; just mirrors; lots of mirrors. Everyday he tells his reflection how pretty he is, and then he gives it a few licks. I don’t enjoy cleaning his mirrors, but if I don’t clean them, he’ll scream because he can’t see himself clearly. It’s difficult because I’m 5’ft 4’in tall, and my mom’s dresser is much taller, so I can’t quite reach him. If he wouldn’t lick his mirrors in the first place, then we wouldn’t be having these problems. But of course he must lick it.

Caity dog: Jack Russell Terrier (age: 11)
She’s calmed down quite a bit since her actual puppy years, but only a little. She still gets into the trash when she’s upset with us being away for too long as well as her other unknown reasons. She sits in a cat’s window seat all day long, barking as people walk past our apartment. She’s very particular about her “enemies”. The top of her shit list (so to speak) are kids around the age of 2-12 depending on the level of their rowdiness. Next up are fellow dogs that come into her view, cats, and occasionally a moving inanimate object (a shopping bag). It’s extremely difficult to try and have a phone conversation because she always finds something to bark at. I’m startled every time, but my mom is always calm unless she’s on the phone. Caity always gets what she wants. If you saw how she tilted her head to the side with that cute face, you’d give her everything too. Trust me. And don’t even think about trying to outsmart her. She makes me look like an idiot. She also steals my candy every Halloween, but I love her dearly.
She has an early bedtime, and if the light is still on in her place of comfort, she will then give you a “look” and leave in search of a dark and quiet place to sleep. The problem is, she has an early bedtime. I have too many things to do to go to bed at 8pm or whatever; same with my mom. Caity starts out in my mom’s bed, and then later in the night she will come and visit me. She splits her time between the two of us which is sweet, but extremely uncomfortable in my twin-size bed; especially when she insists on sleeping stretched out under the covers in the middle of the bed.

Cleopatra cat: Tabby (age: 2)
She can best be described as a pain in the ass. She throws up usually everyday not because she’s sick (not really), but because she inhales her food and eats non-edible things she finds off the floor. She’s sort of big in a funny way, but not as bad as Garfield. She spends her time chasing her sister and obsessing over a home-made toy. She chases her sister because her sister is an idiot. She waits until her sister is finished improperly using the litter box before she pounces on her and starts..well, beating her up. When it comes to the litter box, I have no sympathy for her sister.
I got tired of purchasing cat toys for them to play with, so I thought of a great idea (at the time): I tied one of their toy mice to a shoestring. Simple, yet Cleopatra fell in love with it. It’s commonly referred to as Mousie. It’s an inexpensive and very effective (too effective) toy, but it’s all she ever thinks about. I keep Mousie in a drawer because otherwise it will just end up in a litter box (if one of my socks isn’t already in there) in an attempt to cover her sister’s poop. It’s frustrating; and now she meows every day, and it’s all about Mousie. Her sister craves food, she craves Mousie. She wants infinite playtime with Mousie. I play with her a few times a day, but when I go to put Mousie up, she follows me meowing the whole way in what sounds like “Noooo! Nooo. No!” after I tell her “Mousie time is over”. I regret my “great idea”. Now I would prefer to shell out a bunch of money on cat toys instead of the existence of Mousie.

Jade cat: Tabby (age: 2)
She’s best described as “slow”. Her favorite hobby is sitting on top of the sofa and staring at the wall in pure fascination. She always has this sort of dazed expression on her face. She caters to me, so whenever I get into bed, she’s quick to join me at my side. The frustrating part is the way she enters my bed. The only way she will get into bed, is if she leaps onto my chest, and then settles herself at my side. It’s actually quite painful, and startling like a sudden attack. She has this sweet, yet annoying whine of a meow. I talk and she responds, I call her and she comes (eventually), but she doesn’t understand much of anything else it seems. She doesn’t understand the importance of covering up her mess after she’s done in the litter box like most cats do. We have three litter boxes (we heard it’s better that way), and she uses all three: she’ll go into one, careful not to let the litter touch her paws, wipe her paws (before even using the litter box) on the edge, then balance herself so that she can squat inside the litter box without actually being in the litter box. Usually the first time she will have urinated, so when she’s finished, she turns around and wipes her paws on the edge, smells where she has just urinated, then wipes her paws some more. She will go to the next littler box and do the same, but doing more than just urinating. It’s a strange and unnecessary process that nobody understands. I’ve tried to show her how to cover up her mess, but she doesn’t get it. Her sister takes matters into her own paws by waiting until she’s finished using the litter box to pounce on her in frustration, and continue to beat her up by getting on top of her and biting her until her sister screams or until I squirt them with a water bottle. I asked her sister what good was violence, and that the last thing she needed was to get hit (or slapped actually) in the head. So far, violence has solved nothing but satisfy Cleopatra. The problem still remains. She’s ran into a wall twice this year, which really doesn’t help her case. She also continues to use the furniture as a scratch pad even after all the different scratch pads we have bought. I really don’t understand her. And if it’s not Caity getting into the trash, then it’s Jade getting on top of the counters in the kitchen at night and stealing/eating whatever has been forgotten. I must say she’s the strangest of them all.

Looks can be deceiving..

Some Boring Things About Myself

I can describe anything and any person very well with no problems; but when it comes to describing myself, I give nothing but a blank stare. I consider myself difficult to describe, but I do try:
I am me.
I’m usually confused about various things, if not all; the world, the time of day, and myself mostly. Just about anything and everything on a daily basis.
I am dedicated to documenting my life for something beyond what I understand.
I don’t consider myself an artist; I just take interest in doodling in detail usually in boring situations.
I am fascinated by Johnny Depp and his work. I could go on and on about him, he’s such an amazing person from what I see. I would love to meet him one day.
My passion is books; from reading, to writing, to researching, to libraries. I find books fascinating. The most difficult thing for me in life is to pull myself away from book sales. It’s almost impossible.
I find verbal communication extremely difficult and unnerving. I can better describe it as social anxiety.
Weather and room temperature are important to me. I prefer cold weather, but unfortunately that is very rare in Texas.
I’m not fully interested in technology like my mother is. I’m against kindles, touch screen phones, artificial intelligence etc. I predict a future much like the Matrix series if modern technology continues to increase at this rate.
As far as my appearance goes, it really depends on my mood; but I’m not particularly fond of my curly hair which is sometimes wavy, but always curly. 
I’ve been told I have clear eyes, and small hands. 
I’m 5’4” which is inconvenient, and have the worst vision imaginable.
I love to sleep and rent movies as much as I love to read and admire Johnny Depp.


I decided to give in and watch Eat Pray Love to see what all the hype was about. I didn’t get to finish the last twenty minutes or so since my portable DVD player decided to die for good. Oh well; you get what you pay for. I wasn’t enjoying the movie. Maybe I’m just stupid and clueless, but I found it boring and a little confusing. I didn’t see the point.

I’ve finished two separate 500-piece puzzles within about two days for each puzzle recently. I enjoy puzzles, yet having patience on other things in life is difficult for me.
I’ve also been forcing myself to commit to crossword puzzles in hopes to improve my memory. So far so good. Only a slight headache for three days. I’m coming to enjoy crossword puzzles, if only I can just remember a damn thing every once in a while.
I still do an occasional sudoku puzzle every now and then. I’ve just about mastered those.

I attempted a doodle of Johnny Depp last night. It was supposed to look like this.
In comparison

Communication Issues

Yesterday was a miracle. It rained in Texas; and the temperature kept dropping from the usual 90-something degrees. I didn’t go out until later though. Last time I tried to capture the rare moment of rain on camera, I stepped on a piece of glass only two steps away from the front door. It looked worse than it actually felt.
I had the hardest time answering a poll on Facebook:
If someone wants to contact you, how do you prefer they do it?
  • Phone call
  • Text message
  • Email
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Yell
  • Clap
  • Poke

After a long while of puzzling, I realized the answer I wanted (I don’t want them to contact me) was not going to appear, so I chose email. I hate checking my email; I find it an overwhelming task.

Just about every type of sound bothers me. The worst way to contact me is by phone call. I hate phones; their too noisy, and I’m not much of a talker. I want to communicate with people, but I don’t want to communicate with people (this is just as confusing to me as it is to you).
I considered not answering the poll, but for some unknown reason, I really wanted to answer it.
On the subject of books, I’m currently reading A Visit from the Goon Squad by Jennifer Egan. I’m not reading it like mad as I do other books. It’s a little bit different; too much jumping around from one narrator, to another, to one period of time, to another period of time. It’s confusing, and tests my memory like hell, but I like the story, and I waited months on the library queue to get it, so I’ll finish it; hopefully before it’s due date (July 1st), because I have a strong feeling I can’t re-check it. Someone else is probably requesting it.
I’m also reading Wish I Could Be There: Notes from a Phobic Life by Allen Shawn. It’s a really good book. It’s not really a memoir, but it’s not really a self-help book either. The author just wants people to know they’re not alone when it comes to anxiety and phobias and such.
Yesterday, I Googled nail biting remedies. This is what I found. So, I’ll just be holding my Chucke’cheese block for a while. After ten years, at least the prize is getting some use.
Besides the damn cats interrupting my sleep every night, there’s not much else to talk about.
“Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.” – Chinese Proverbs

Bob Dylan and Stressful Weather

Everything I will be talking about here are things that have been said countless times before, mainly because nothing ever changes. I’m not too fond of change anyway, so it doesn’t bother me.

The past 2-3 months have mainly been devoted to books.
Right now I’m reading Getting the Girl by Mark Zusak. I’m not really enjoying it; I don’t like the author’s style of writing, which prevents me from enjoying possibly a good book. That sucks, but I’m dealing with it. I believe in second chances.
I’m also reading a very awesome, and helpful book Wish I Could Be There: Notes From A Phobic Life by Allen Shawn. The book is about the author’s experiences rather than a self-help book. But there is still some interesting information. I’m reading it because I have the same problems as the author. I’m terrified to leave the house; especially during the summer, when it’s hot and the wasps are out. I don’t like being chased, and I always end up looking like a lunatic. What makes matters worse, is that nobody seems to see the wasps. Just me.
I have one last library book to pick up and then I can read some of my own (my bookshelf is overflowing as much as my DVD shelf). I’ve been waiting for A Visit from the Goon Squad by Jennifer Egan for a while now. It’s brand new, and the library only has one copy (figures), so I was like number 26 on the list. I don’t really buy books before I’ve read them. That’s what the library is for. I can rent the books for free, and if I like them, then I’ll buy them. Apparently I like a lot of books, because I’m going to need another bookshelf.
So after the last library book, I’m going to start on some of these books on my shelf that need to be read. Mostly classics:

  1. Tales of Beedle the Bard by J.K. Rowling
  2. The Diary of Anne Frank (I stopped in the middle of it)
  3. On the Road by Jack Kerouac
  4. How Did I Get Here? The Ascent of an Unlikely CEO by Tony Hawk and Pat Hawk
  5. To Kill A Mocking Bird by Harper Lee
  6. A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens

See what I mean? Important. Good thing I keep track of everything, otherwise I’d lose my head (if I haven’t already).

This outrageous Texas heat bothers me just as much as a sink-full of dirty dishes bothers my mom.
Other than that, the only problems I have daily are supervising two very annoying, crazy, emotionally disturbed cats. I love cats but their personalities are just ridiculous. One is an idiot (I’m serious), and the other is very emotional. Jade and Cleopatra are a pain in the ass. But I love the little devils.
“All I can do is be me. Whoever that is.” Bob Dylan

Late Topics

It’s amazing how things don’t turn out as I expected; and it’s good a thing.

I had the best night in a long while last Tuesday. I hate church groups, but this one was different. This one was normal. It was…fun. I found a new board game I like, Apples to Apples. I’m more of a classic board game person, but it was enjoyable.

My Facebook number of friends is bouncing around again. Right when I start to build up my friend list, someone has to go and delete their account. Ugh.
I was curious for the definition of half-brother, because I do have a half-brother through my dad’s side. Facebook doesn’t have an option for half. But the definition means brother related through one parent only. So I selected him as my brother on Facebook.

I don’t know why I still bother with writing letters to Johnny Depp. I guess because I don’t want to be thought an idiot based on my previous letters. So I update them. I don’t expect much of anything, I just enjoy writing letters and everything to do with mail in general.

I’ve been reading non-stop. It’s wonderful to take a break from reality. So I’ve been stocking up at the library, and documenting everything on GoodReads. Currently I’m reading Then We Came to the End by Joshua Ferris. It reminds me of the TV show The Office and the movie Office Space.

Every day I’m more convinced that I need an Android. Really just for the useful apps, but that’s all I use my phone for anyway. My Blackberry has been letting me down lately. I love my Blackberry, but I need it to work properly. In five months I’m going to get the My Touch 3G Slide.

Yesterday was interesting. For once since forever, I got a great night sleep before the morning of my interview. I woke up not tired at all, and calm. I was fine until 30 minutes before my interview my anxiety started kicking in. Overall things went well, though I doubt I got the job. It was funny because one of the questions the interviewee asked me was one I’d heard several times before, and still all the time. What do you do? After my long pause, I figured the truth is always best. I told her I read. She smiled at that.
It was hot as hell yesterday. I swear I hate Texas. I brought a change of clothes for after the interview, but even in shorts, it felt like an oven. It was 79 degrees, but it felt like 90.
I learned once again the hard way about candy. You would think at my age, I should know the after effects of candy. That didn’t stop me from eating Sour Punch Straws. I suffered all day yesterday. I had to pick up some Sensodyne. Hopefully it won’t take two weeks.

I also discovered my favorite snack is Hot Peanuts. It’s funny, because they’re made by FritoLay, the same company that makes fritos. I hate fritos. I always have. I can tolerate them in frito pie though.

Last night I watched Confessions of a Shopaholic with my mom. It was very entertaining. Plus, the cute guy (Hugh Dancy) made it even more enjoyable.