I turned 19 yesterday (May 31st). I don’t feel it at all. It’s just a number.
The day before my birthday my mom let me get a few things I picked out while shopping for the apartment. I got a few puzzles. I love puzzles. I have not yet concurred the 1,000 piece puzzle, but 500 piece puzzles are easy to me. I found one that is 750 pieces. I can’t wait to start them. Yes, I’m back on my puzzle-obsession phase.
Afterwards, we went to see Dark Shadows finally (it wasn’t as great as I thought it would be. That’s like the second movie now of Johnny Depp‘s that have sort of disappointed me (the first was The Rum Diary)).
The day OF my birthday, my mom and I rented a movie (Gone) after I finished decorating and organizing around the apartment (another new obsession/hobby).
Today I finally got around to claiming my tiny birthday scoop of ice cream from Baskin Robbins. For once I was sick of getting chocolate, so I tried Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough; I’m really not fond of vanilla. I enjoyed the Blue Raspberry Sherbet much better.
I discovered a few interesting things and a little too much information from my family. I’ve been promised gift cards (or something like that), so I’m having fun with the mail. I still have a major interest in mail. I sent off like five postcards to friends and family back in my hometown and so. I like stamps too by the way.
I’ve been watching a bunch of movies lately, but I’ve still managed to get some reading in. I’m currently reading ”On The Road” – by Jack Kerouac. It’s all sorts of things, but by far the strangest book I’ve ever read. Johnny Depp doesn’t make much sense either.
You know, it’s very frustrating to prove to someone that you’re serious and not crazy when there has been a lot of craziness in the past (a rather soon past, I’ll admit). I have major anxiety, and the outdoors increases my fears. It’s not so much the feeling of pain, because it’s barely a pain; no, it’s the site of the biting insects that creep me out so much that I run around screaming and slapping myself all over like a maniac. Well, I was helping my mom take out the trash, when all of a sudden I felt something small and alive land on my shoulder and neck. I dropped the trash bag right there and slapped my ear. My mom thought I was just imagining something out of past fears, but I felt a tiny sting on my neck and then my shoulder. I still hadn’t made it to the dumpster yet, so I dropped the trash again and this time slapped myself all over while jumping around and asking if ”there was something on me” to which my mom checked several times and saw nothing. A bit more edgy and uncertain, I finally made it to the dumpster and got rid of the trash. Right when I finished disposing of the trash, I felt several more stings; I had had enough and this time started shrieking, jumping around, asking if my mom could see it, and making a fool of myself as I beat myself all over from my torso up. I looked down my shirt and got a glimpse of the offender: it looked smaller than a wasp and skinnier than a bee. It was slightly larger than an average ant, and it had wings. I heard a long time ago that either the queen or the king can fly and perhaps do more damage. I have a feeling this was a queen. As I looked down my shirt and beat myself (it was sort of in my bra), my mom said to just take my shirt off RIGHT OUT IN THE OPEN. I said no way and continued beating myself all the way to the car. Once I got in, I immediately took my shirt off and inspected everything. I also again, asked my mom if she saw anything. She was saying that it was all in my head. It took like two minutes for the bumps to form, but sure enough I was covered in sloppy, tiny bites around my shoulder and neck. I was on edge the entire car ride (still am actually). Unfortunately these experiences have scared me so badly that now I start slapping myself if I feel the tiniest of touch. Most of the time it turns out to be my hair flying in my face. Ugh, what a life.
The news has gotten really insane, so I try to ignore it and watch movies and classic cartoons (when I can find them). You know, we humans bring a lot on our own selves. The world just gets crazier by the day.
”Happiness does not depend on what you have or who you are, it solely relies on what you think.”