Dreams and other scary things

I was in the middle of morphing into another rare, indestructible substance, while fighting off my attackers in the night, when my mom wakes me up at 11am to run some errands.
Occasionally, I’ll have dreams about being chased by some enemy I’ve never seen before, who is usually trying to kill me. Then there are my “normal” dreams I have about this ex-friend of mine. For about two years now, I’ve been having dreams about this friend I used to have up till I/we was/were sixteen. In my dreams, we become friends again. Every dream is like that. I can take a hint, but it doesn’t mean I’m going to do anything about it. There’s nothing to do about it, unfortunately. People tell me she wasn’t really a friend anyway, but I disagree.
Every day I fight back the urge to talk to you. I tell myself that if you wanted to speak to me, you would.
Today was the first day I left the house in…one, maybe two weeks or more. Once I dealt with my hair (took an hour of frustration, thanks to my weird, curly/wavy hair), and found clothes that wouldn’t fall off me as much as the rest of my clothes do (I recently lost 30 pounds), I was able to leave. I stepped outside, and was first blinded by the sunlight, then chased all the way down to the car by these bugs that tease me every time I step foot outside. Nobody believes me when I tell them this. I dealt with my anxiety for the rest of the day.
I wasn’t able to find the cat cube that we really need. We have two cats; one is very skinny, the other has a striking resemblance to Garfield (minus the color and gender). I’m having trouble finding a cube that fatty can fit in. It would help if she would stop stealing food, but that’s not going to happen any time soon. If there’s food, Cleopatra will find it. Trust me.
I did find a purse finally. It’s strange though; I found it in a store I have no interest in whatsoever. My mom loves the store, and can spend forever looking around. So I decided to look around as well. I’m not a fan of leather purses, but I did find a $30 one that seems to suit me.
Once I got home, I was physically exhausted. Now I’m relaxing in bed with my laptop, and my cat (Jade) that keeps hitting me in the face with her tail. She never leaves my side. It’s nice to have some company that doesn’t make me uncomfortable.
I’ve never really ever made sense. I’m okay with that now.

Where is the love?

Today wasn’t a complete waste of time.
I woke up at noon as usual (I should stop saying this, it happens regularly so we’ll just assume I wake up at noon everyday), had my bowl of Honey-Nut Cheerios in peace (surprisingly). Then I got back in bed and finished my book. The last few chapters were very emotional, and I didn’t expect that, but overall it was a good book (sequel actually): “Children of God Go Bowling” by Shannon Olson. Her life oddly resembles mine in a way.
I wrote a little after I finished the book. I didn’t start on the next book immediately like I used to. I guess since it was so emotional, I just wanted it to sink in, and think about it a little bit more. But my next book is: “Lottery” – by Patricia Wood.
The rest of the day was devoted to Tumblr. I stated my opinion on a post about ageism (I seem to be stating my opinion a lot lately). Basically my point is Ages 13-19 are considered teenage years. Why single anyone out when they’re in the same category? Everyone hates 13yr-olds supposedly because they’re immature. There are several immature people in the world. It doesn’t have to be a specific age. You can be 40-something and still be immature. It just depends. I’m seventeen; I’ll be eighteen at the end of May this year. I was pretty much immature up till February 2010. My dad’s death had a great impact on me; still does. I’ve changed into a completely different person. Mostly someone silenced.
You can say you’re 17. But proclaiming your age doesn’t tell your maturity level. You can assume, but you can never be sure. We’re all young. The world is fucked up enough as it is; why do more damage? Why not just come together? Different countries are struggling with different-yet-similar issues; whether it be leadership, or financial issues, or anything else, one thing is certain: the world is struggling. They’re aren’t that many people that see this.

Maybe I’m naive, but this is just how I see the world. Among other things.

I’m Not Moderate

I guess I really do spend my time doing nothing.
When I decide to get up (somewhere around 11am and noon), I have all these plans and things I need to do. None of them involve Tumblr. But what do I do anyway? Tumblr.

I need to go pick up some things at the library, but I guess I would need to leave the house in order to do that, and well…that’s not happening. At least not now. Maybe tomorrow. No, not tomorrow.

I had planned on finishing this book, figuring out some Sudoku puzzles, possibly opening my GED book, and watching a movie later tonight.
I cleaned the cats’ litter boxes, and browsed Tumblr for the rest of the day.

Lately I’ve been correcting errors in articles usually pertaining to Johnny Depp.
I’m not a snob, but they shouldn’t post false crap.

There isn’t much else to say, because not much happened.
Hopefully tonight I can fulfill my original plans for today. Though I doubt it.

Bad Day

Today was….eventful. I didn’t even leave the house.
It was around noon when I decided to get up. I came out of my room and was headed for the kitchen to have my routine breakfast (Honey Nut Cheerios), when one of my cats caught my eye. It was Jade; she was by the front door playing with something. It looked like she was torturing something actually. Sure enough, Jade was playing with a monster ant (approximately the size of half a thumb). I freaked out (one of my many fears is insects); when I say freaked out, I mean I was having a panic attack. I was surprisingly brave enough to grab several paper towels and squish it against the door; the damn thing wouldn’t die though. I repeated the process about five more times until finally it stopped moving. Once that was over, and I disposed of the monster, I was trying to calm myself down to have some cereal, when I see an ant crawling on the ceiling. This time involved screaming and jumping around. My mom took her dear sweet time in coming to my rescue, but finally she came and stood on a chair to squish the ant. It was about ten minutes when I finally calmed down to have my bowl of cereal.
I went back in my room to try and relax. About an hour after the ant incident, I was doing some Sudoku puzzles when my mom suddenly started shouting “GET THE BROOM!!!” repeatedly from the living room. My anxiety started to build up again because I knew exactly why she wanted the broom; I knew this time it was worse than the ants. I found the broom and tossed it to her, meanwhile looking for the wasp. There it was, red and big as ever, flying around the living room. My mom was trying to beat it with a broom, while I went in search of the Raid I hoped we still had. Thankfully it was a brand new can. I used all of it on the wasp. The damn thing wouldn’t die either. After I used all the Raid and the wasp started to fall to the floor, I got the broom and beat the rest of the shit out of it. The broom bent in two, but the wasp was dead. My mom was rinsing our dog (Caity) under the faucet sink; I had accidentally sprayed her a little bit while trying to kill the wasp. She’s fine now; nice and clean.
The floor was soaked in Raid, and since we have several curious pets, I had to scrub the floor. It’s better now, but I can’t say the same for the walls and ceiling.

I did Sudoku puzzles for the rest of the day, and now I’m in bed, once again, trying to relax.
This day has been horrible. All I want now is a plastic bubble, so I can be safe and know that I am safe.
For the past several weeks, I have had terrible things happen to me every Friday. Something bad always happens on Friday. I don’t know why. Aren’t Fridays supposed to be fun? Now I dread Fridays.

These insects are out to get me, and nobody believes me.
I need to stock up on some more Raid cans…

Boring, yet a productive day

So many things need to be done in my room/closet. But I can’t do anything right now.
I need a bigger bed (mattress actually); that’s on hold. I need a desk to put my laptop and other supplies (also a chair); mom is using the desk I need. She’s going to give it to me when she gets a new one. She likes “new” things, I prefer used. Her computer is taking up the whole desk; but she has expensive tastes. Instead of buying a simple desk ($20-$50), she needs a desk that does everything. It’s funny, every time she gets those kind of desks, she always underestimates the room she has; so it’s a tight fit. She’ll pay up to $250 for a desk.
So basically, my room is out of order. I need the desk for my supplies, and a work area; mom is using the desk until she gets a new one. A $250 desk is over the budget at the moment. Same thing pretty much with the bed.
I clean/organize my room about every week. Today I organized everything (nightstand and drawers, dresser drawers, shoes, bank statements, receipts, and some clothes). I got overwhelmed with the closet so it’s still a wreck. It would also help if I had a Dyson vacuum (about $500). We’ve been through several vacuums. The pet hair is the problem (2 cats, 1 dog, and 1 bird). It’s frustrating.

I’ve been letting my library books go past-due. Probably have a $1 fine now. It’s very rare I get fines. I’m a bookworm; I read all the time. But lately I’ve been preoccupied with other things (Tumblr, Sudoku puzzles, and sleeping). I’ll have to do something about that. I seem to have a problem with moderation.

Nothing else really happened today. Nothing ever does.